The only boy I can't have

Luke

Eleanor wills was fast asleep on my chest.

I had had sex tons of times with tons of different girls but it never had meaning. It never felt like that.

It was different with Eleanor and I never wanted to be with anyone else ever again.

She stirred in her sleep and I stroked her bare back drawing stars and hearts just how I know she liked it.

This girl was so precious to me.

I wasn't going to let anyone hurt her.

She can't escape or fix her past but she has me now to help her with the future. And that was something I swore I would do. I would never let Eleanor down.

"Morning" Eleanor awoke slowly

"Morning beautiful"

Eleanor got off my chest and walked to her en-suite bathroom. She froze and turned around in a panic holding an arm over her chest and a hand over her private area.

Her face went pale and she sprinted to the bathroom - I sighed and followed her pulling on my boxers.

We sat by her toilet for 30 minutes. I drew hearts on her back as she threw up her pizza from last night. Between vomits I pulled my T-shirt over her to make her feel less exposed.

"Wow remembering you had sex with me really made you feel sick..." I joked as she leaned back into my legs.

"No no!" She panicked "it was amazing. I just - I don't know just had a wave of anxiety, you saw me naked-"

I interrupted her with a scoff " I saw a lot more than that beautiful."

She hit my chest. "That's besides the point, I thought about Jacob and how we betrayed him, and all our friends and-" her last sentence was interrupted by a wave of vomit.

"Get it all out beautiful" I told her holding her beautiful blonde hair in my fist.

Eleanor had a point.

I was full of guilt.

Not because I loved his sister and we had sex, but because I didn't feel an ounce of guilt for it.

It was the second of February and me and Eleanor had been exploring things for 3 weeks. I wanted to shake her and ask her "what are we" if she would give me a chance to be her boy friend I would be the best one and the last one she ever had.

We both got dressed and headed downstairs for breakfast holding hands as we went.

"OH MY GOD" Lola shrieked "IT HAPPENED DIDN'T IT!" I looked to Eleanor who had gone bright red and her nose was scrunched.

"Lola Pearce I swear to god" Eleanor mumbled dragging her best friend upstairs who was waggling her eyebrows at me.

Okay
Well
I didn't know what that was or when it would be over so I decided to make myself some pancakes.

AUTHORS NOTE
Thanks for reading!!!
Do you think Eleanor should feel anxious?