The only boy I can't have

Luke

Sitting up, I held my head in my hands whilst the memories of last night came flooding back to me.

Jacob's face.

How I had betrayed him.

Eleanor's face when she got punched.

Jacob's face when he realised he had punched her.

The way he drove off.

The pained look on his face.

The look of disbelief that his best friend had betrayed him so much and that his best friend had found his way into his little sisters pants, who he loved more than anyone and treated her like she was made out of china.

But the thing is, the guilt I felt was for the way he found out and the fact we didn't tell him earlier as I loved his sister more than the entire world.

To me, Eleanor was the sun, and I was the earth, orbiting round her.

I looked at the small, gorgeous, kind blonde in my arms and I would risk everything for her. And in some ways I already had.

My friendship with Jacob was a life line for me back then - not even just me - my family as well.
He was my best friend and I didn't want to lose him.

However, Eleanor was someone I would not leave.

My heart sank at the sight of her.

Last night, she weeped and weeped and weeped into my chest. Jacob was also so important to her.

He had been there more than anyone else for her through high school.

Suddenly, Eleanor sat up with a jolt. She looked at me with a smile.

"I had the worst nightmare, Jacob found out we were dating at this party and then he got cross and punched you and then accidentally punched me" she chuckled loosely.

I winced at her, eyes scanning to the swollen left side of her face.

Her eyes widened "no" she shook her head in denial "no"

"NO"

Tears ran down her face, before I could reach out to comfort her, she leaped over me to my bathroom and the familiar noises of her throwing up began.

After 30 minutes of drawing stars on Eleanor's back, she sat up leaning back into my crotch.

"I am a terrible sister"

"No your not"

"And you are a bad best friend"

I failed to deny that.

She cried some more as I held her close. My heart cracked even more with every gasp for air.

**************

1 WEEK LATER

Eleanor's face had finally gone down.

She had been staying with me for a week to give Jacob some space, and he has avoided me completely.

Lola kindly dropped some clothes round earlier this week with a faint smile "he just needs time" she said

As did Kyle.

And Benji.

And Ollie.

And Mia.

Even fucking Benji said it.

I couldn't deal with this - I needed my best friend.

A whole week of classes and practise Jacob had missed just so he didn't see me. A pang of guilt ran through me.

Eleanor opened my door with a smile.

She looked tired, she was still beautiful, but this week had really taken a toll on her.

"Hey" she said wearily, flopping onto my bed.

"Hey baby - how was coffee with Mia?" I asked pulling her onto my lap.

"It was okay - surprising busy for a Tuesday" she smiled.

My phone beeped and I turned it over quickly.

JACOB 🤪 - meet me at the rink in 20 - we need to talk.
Sent 06:38pm

"Sorry baby - I have to pop out - I'll be back" I kissed her head quickly getting up.

"That's okay - I'm gonna nap" she told me.

I had no doubt she would be out like a lamp.

Kyle was coming up the stairs "make sure none of the boys bother her okay? She's sleeping" I slapped his shoulder

"Yep I've got it cap" he nodded licking his ice pop.

As I climbed into my car I felt - not excited but not nervous - a mix of emotions. I just wanted my best friend back and for him to talk to his poor sister.

The ice rink car park was empty of course but it intensified the weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

The door to the arena creaked open and i stepped awkwardly, the stomp of my feet being echoed.

Jacob was sat half way up the centre of the bleachers.

His face was unchanged as he saw me.

I sat next to him.

"Sooo.." I said trying to create a less awkward atmosphere.

"You don't say anything"

Nodding - I heard him loud and clear.

We sat in silence until he was ready to speak.

"What the fuck man.I mean really. We all know you could get any girl you wanted and you chose my baby sister? Seriously." He spat.

"I know I know-" I began but he cut off me.

"You are fucking my baby sister behind my back, and now you are dating? And too make matters worse you didn't even tell me." He scoffed

Holding my head in my hands I avoided his gaze.

"How long" he said bluntly.

"Well it's complicated-" I began

"It's pretty fucking simple Luke. How long."

"Well we started - seeing each other - when you left in January but then, I had to leave and we stopped. Then we rekindled things." I sighed I was so disappointed in myself.

He laughed in a salty tone. "You were supposed to be my best friend and you just went for the person I loved most."

I looked at my best friend who I had hurt so much "let me say this - I love your sister more than anyone. I will protect and love her, I never will hurt her, she's safe with me. I love her bro. Seriously, I've never felt this way about anyone before"

We stared at each other.

"I love you man. I love her. And I can't live without either of you and I cannot tell either of you who to love or what to do with your lives. I'm not gonna lie I feel so betrayed by you man. But if you really do love her and you look after her, I can look past it. And if you hurt her I will rip your balls off." He pointed at me, narrowing his eyes.

A smile spread across my face. I had my best friend back. He forgave me.

"I promise man" we stood up and hugged, I slapped his back as he slapped mine.

We walked out of the arena laughing and chatting

"Oh and bro you need to talk to your sister - she is sick with worry." I gave him a knowing look and he nodded.