The only boy I can't have

Eleanor

April 4th

Nearly 2 months had passed since Luke had left and I wanted nothing to do with him. I even (finally) blocked him.

He broke my heart.

We had only been together for 2 days but she had been the love of my life ever since I first laid eyes on him all those years ago.

Today he was coming back.

Jacob had organised this thing at Stacies for him and Lola was making me go. I didn't want to see his stupid gorgeous face.

I believed him that it was a very last minute trip, but the fact he wouldn't even tell me what it was about? Red flag.

Panic attacks have become more frequent and I've stopped going to as many as my classes that Jacob would let me, just because I can't deal with it. It's getting worse.

Lola could see it. Jacob could see it. Ollie could see it. Mia could see it. Kyle could see it. Benji could see it. Even that random - Reuben I think? Could see it.

As much as I hated to admit it Luke helped me.

"Hey you ready?" Jacob asked softly.

I didn't really care how I looked, Lola had dressed me up and done my makeup, I felt like a doll. I had some kind away from green dress on, and my hair was in a tight half up half down. My face felt powdered and lovely but I didn't feel pretty.

I nodded, he put an arm over me as we walked to his car. "What's going on with you E" he asked doing his seatbelt up.

"Nothing - it's under control okay" I gave him a forced smile.

Lola clambered into the back with a huff. "Ugh wills I hate your car" she groaned placing her bag next to her.

"Learn how to drive then Pearce?" Jacob drawled adjusting his mirrors.

She rolled her eyes and sighed in response. "You okay babe?" Lola asked me with a note of concern in her voice - hers was different to Jacob - she knew who I had to face today. I nodded and she squeezed my shoulder.

The bmw rolled into the Stacies car park and I wanted to be anywhere but here.

"Eleanor keep your phone on, stay aware, don't take drinks from strangers, make sure you cover you drink - what else... oh! Pepper spray check?"

We both held up identical green bottles and pretended to spray it at each other. Better safe than sorry. 

Jacob laughed at us and got out the car, I trailed behind him and Lola not wanting to attract any attention.

Walking into the greasy bar, I couldn't hold back a laugh at Kyle, who was stood on a table screaming the lyrics to Whitney Houston's I'm every woman.

"IM EVERY WOMAN ITS ALL IN ME"

Jacob pulled him down and scolded him but Kyle was so drunk he just pulled him into a hug. Not that Jacob had a leg to stand on there, as after telling Kyle off, he downed 5 shots himself.

"Yo cap, the man of the night" benji announced pulling Luke into the crowd.

Locking eyes I started at him. Equally with hatred, confusion, disappointment, desire and happiness all at once. He wore baggy dark blue jeans and an oversized grey top with 'Taylor college ice hockey' in small writing in the corner.

He ran an awkward hand through his luscious brown locks and broke our intense eye contact.

Whatever. He was a dick and I didn't need him.

Lola came running up to me with an irritated look. "Babe your brother is so drunk - I'm gonna call us and uber - you coming?" I shook my head, as much as I wanted to go - I knew I needed to talk to Luke and try to attempt to understand each other.

I knew he wasn't drinking as he had a Coke Zero in his large hand "Lola can you ask Luke if he will drop me home" she started at me suspiciously but spoke to his regardless.

Luke looked at me over the crowd. He nodded slowly at Lola, who gave me a quick wave and pointed to her phone and pulled out her pepper spray signing to me to remember what we always say.

Smiling, I waved back. Continuing my conversation with Benji and the guy who was always with him - Reuben I think?

"Guys I really need the toilet - I'll be back!" I told them jumping down from the booth, bringing my drink with me. They were both drinking and I couldn't trust them with my drink whilst they were intoxicated.

Luke watched me walk towards the bathroom but didn't make any moves to follow me and I felt my heart sink.

Stop it Eleanor. You are being stupid.

The ladies toilets were up 2 sets of stairs and it was fair to say I was exhausted when I reached the door.

I heard heavy footsteps behind me and I turned, looking for Luke. Only to be greeted by the much less handsome version. Dylan.

He had an angry look on his face. And I had no idea why.

"Dylan?" I questioned backing up reaching for my phone. Fuck why did I block Luke.

"Oh hey Eleanor. I saw you walking up the stairs and I thought well" he licked his lips staring me up and down, his eyes lingering at my chest. "Keep you company." I shivered

Trigger warning.

Dylan placed a hand on my shoulder and I shoved him off to which he tutted. "Why so skittish I just wanna talk" he pinned me against the wall, his fishy breath hot on my cheek.

"Wow - skittish - big word for you Dylan right?" I spat looking at my exit roots.

Kick him in the balls and the run? No my heels were too big I'd trip.

Why did nobody need the toilet and come save me?

He chuckled darkly. Dylan was exactly like Luke but scrawnier, uglier and meaner. "Cmon Eleanor you know you want too" his hand traveled from my breasts to my bum and my breath hitched.

It's okay Eleanor.

Breathe it's okay.

"No I don't want to Dylan" I told him trying to wiggle out of his clutch.

"Trust me I fuck way better than Luke - he stole my money but I fuck way better that it's worth the 3 million dollars."

What?

3 million dollars?

His money? Stolen?

My thoughts were cut short as Dylan's cold thin lips sucked at the neck. "STOP IT" I screamed unable to keep calm.

Dylan kissed my neck every moment I felt sicker and sicker.

"NO PLEASE DYLAN STOP IT" I screeched. My body became paralysed as I felt the bulge in his pants press against me.

I didn't know what to do.

I couldn't reach my phone.

I couldn't reach my pepper spray.

I couldn't push him off. My legs and arms were pushed against the wall.

This was it.

I had heard stories but I never thought it would happen to me.

"STOP" I cried.

And too my surprise he did.

I opened my eyes to see Dylan being pinned against the wall by Luke. Whose eyes were red with anger. He had saved me.

Benji rushed over to me wrapping his arms around me but I froze. I didn't feel anything as I was lifted by Luke to his car. I didn't feel anything when I slept in his bed. I didn't feel.

I couldn't comprehend what had just happened.

AUTHORS NOTE

Hey guys I'm on another trip and I've been very busy but I'm trying to write as much as I can xx