You Are Not Alone...

CHAPTER 17

GABRIEL's POV

Napailing ako nang muling maalala ang pag-iyak ng aking kaibigang si Steven sa aking harapan the last time I went to his apartment unit.

Talagang apektado itong si Steven sa nangyaring hindi pagkakaintindihan sa pagitan nilang dalawa ng isa pa naming kaibigang si Rafael. Dahil doon kaya mukhang walang chance na makita ni Steven si Ayla, ang babaeng pinakamamahal lang naman nito.

Kung ako ang tatanungin ay sigurado akong alam na ni Rafael ang lihim na damdamin ni Steven para kay Ayla na siyang misis ni Steven. Well, kahit sino naman sigurong lalaki could see it from afar.

I mean, kung halimbawang hindi inamin ni Steven sa akin ang tungkol sa true feelings nito for Ayla, I would still find out about it just from seeing how Steven looks at Ayla every time they're together.

So it's possible na matagal na ring alam ni Rafael ang totoong feelings ni Steven for his wife and ngayon lang nito nailabas ang selos when he saw Steven in front of their gate knowing Ayla was the only one inside their house.

Tingin ko ay mahihirapan na si Steven na makipagkita at makipag-usap kay Ayla knowing na pinalalayo na ito ni Rafael sa misis nito.

And I can only imagine how Steven is deeply hurting right now. Hindi naman ito iiyak sa aking harapan kung hindi ito labis na nasasaktan.

That feeling of knowing you won't be able to see and to communicate with the person you love. That feels so frustrating and sometimes it can make someone feel hopeless.

Noon ngang nalaman kong may boyfriend na ang aking taong pinakamamahal na si Diva, halos lunurin ko ang aking sarili sa alak just to drown all the negative emotions I was feeling that time. Kahit pa sabihing magkikita pa rin naman kami ni Diva despite him having a boyfriend, it didn't lessen the pain I was going through of slowly accepting that I might not be the one for him.

So I understand the pain Steven must have been feeling right now. When Ayla and Rafael made their relationship official, halos bumaha na ng luha sa loob ng aking kwarto dahil sa paghagulgol ni Steven. How much more ngayon na pinalalayo pa ito ni Rafael kay Ayla?

Steven must be very devastated right now. I know how much he loves Ayla. Na kahit itago pa nito nang ilang taon ang nararamdaman nito para sa babaeng minamahal ay gagawin nito para lamang hindi masira ang kanilang friendship at para hindi guluhin ang marriage ni Ayla and Rafael.

Steven is so selfless.

Hindi ko kaya ang ganoon. Para akong sasabog kapag hindi ko sinabi ang aking totoong damdamin for the person I truly love. Pero props to me dahil tumagal nang ilang taon na nagawa kong ilihim sa taong aking iniibig ang aking totoong nararamdaman.

So recently I just told Diva how much I love him. And it felt so good and very liberating.

I don't have any plans to ruin Diva's relationship with his boyfriend. I just admitted to him that I love him because I couldn't contain it anymore.

Now, na kay Diva na ang decision on what to do about that information. I'm not going to force him or anything to love me back. It really is up to him.

Well, I admit that it's a bit frustrating na makitang parang wala lang kay Diva ang aking love confession to him. But I know Diva. Alam kong pag-iisipan niya ang aking mga sinabi sa kanya and if ever he comes up with a decision at hindi ako kasama sa desisyong iyon, tatanggapin ko iyon.

But I might accept it with a heavy heart.

Nasa ganoon akong pagmumuni-muni when I heard my phone rang.

Gabriel: I hope it's Diva. My one and only Diva.

Nang basahin ko ang pangalan sa screen ng aking phone ay ganoon na lamang ang pagkunot ng aking noo nang mabasa ang pangalan ng aking kaibigang si Zander doon.