“Xyrene, andiyan na ang Mama mo!”
Natatarantang pumasok sa kusina si Ate Nilda para ipaalam sa akin ang pagdating ni Mama.
Agad akong naghugas ng aking kamay na puno ng harina at hinubad ang apron na suot, pati na rin ang hair net na ineffortan ko pang suotin kanina.
Our other househelps pretended that they were the ones who were baking the cake I’m planning to make.
Ako naman ay mabilis na inayos ang aking sarili at umupo sa counter top na kunwari ay nanonood lang sa ginagawa ng aming mga kasambahay habang kumakain ng miryenda.
I’m planning to bake a cake today since yesterday, I was able to bake chocolate cookies. So today, I want to bake another pastry, but it seems like I wouldn’t be able to do it since Mama got home earlier than expected.
Kapag naabutan ako ni Mama na nagbibake na naman dito sa kusina ay siguradong magagalit iyon at hindi lang ako ang kawawa kundi pati na rin ang aming mga kasambahay.
Mama doesn’t like it when she sees me doing the things I love.
But through Mamie—my grandmother, I was able to sneak out and do the things I love.
Kabilang na doon ang pagbibake.
She’s paying our househelp an extra amount of money just so they can cover up for me whenever situations like this arise.
Sila ang tumutulong sa akin para hindi ako maabutan ni Mama na ginagawa ang mga bagay na gusto ko.
I was five years old when I noticed that Mama is against the things I love.
Noong six years old ako ay naalala kong sinabihan ko siyang ienroll ako sa ballet class kasi gusto ko din gawin ang mga nakikita ko sa TV.
I was so eager to beg her to enroll me there, but I ended up getting grounded. Hindi niya ako pinahintulutan na manood ng TV ng isang linggo dahil sa nalaman niyang doon ko iyon nakita.
She even commanded our househelp to not give me food for three days. Good thing, my yayas were kind and brave enough to not follow her order.
Mayroon din noong pagkakataon na sinabihan ko siya kung pwede niya akong bilhan ng painting materials kasi gusto kong magpaint but then again, instead of just saying no, she had to make it harder for me.
Okay lang naman sa akin na humindi siya sa mga bagay na ayaw niyang gawin ko pero iyong papahirapan ako dahil lang sa hindi niya gusto ang mga binabalak kong gawin ay iyon ang hindi okay para sa akin.
She would let me suffer for days for opening up to her about the things I would love to do.
She wouldn’t give me food or water. She would pull my hair until I cried so hard. She would even hit me with things she was holding. And worst is, she would even lock me in the basement—no light, no air, no food, no water.
I thought that time I would die… But unluckily, I didn’t.
“Pomerania!”
I flinched when I heard my mother shouting my name as she entered the house.
Nakita ko kung paanong maawa sa akin ang mga kasambahay namin dahil sa takot ko sa aking ina. They witnessed it all. They witnessed how harsh my mother is with me that it’s impossible for me to not have a bruise in two days straight.
Ang pinakamatagal lang na walang nabubuong pasa o sugat sa akin ay isang araw.
Parang watermark ko na ang samu’t saring sugat at pasa sa aking balat kaya magugulat ka nalang kapag hindi ako nagkapasa o sugat sa loob ng dalawang araw.
