I almost became Medusa.
I was sexually abused - almost raped.
Sinampahan ni Mamie ng kaso si Louie sa kaniyang ginawa pero hindi siya nahirapang lusutan iyon dahil sa pera. Mamie tried, but Louie's family was more powerful than her at that time.
The only thing that Mamie could do was to send me off to Manila so she could keep me away from them. She also had an agreement with my parents and Louie's family that the wedding would be moved but not postponed. As she promised, Louie and I would get married after I graduate from college, but if they bothered me in Manila while I was living there, the wedding wouldn't go through.
Mamie was the one who did everything for me since I couldn't face my parents, especially the bastard who did me so wrong without mercy.
Until now, what my mother and father told me when I came home crying because of what I experienced is still scarred in my mind.
"Ang OA mo naman, Pomerania!" Galit na galit ang boses ni Mama nang sigawan niya ako. "Parang iyon lang! Pasasampahan mo pa ng kaso si Louie sa pamamagitan ng Lola mo? Kailan mo ba maiintindihan na pagmamay-ari ka na niya at pwede na niyang gawin iyon sa iyo?"
"Sexually abused?" Si Papa naman-natatawa. "Bobo ka pala eh! Kung ibang lalaki naman ay ikaw mismo ang bubukaka pero kapag sa mapapangasawa mo na, kakasuhan mo ng sexual abuse? Patawa ka naman masiyado, hija."
They really don't care about me. All they care about is their riches and power.
They just didn't completely abandon me because they still need something-may napapakinabangan pa sila sa akin kaya hindi nila ako kayang itakwil kahit alam kong gustong-gusto na nilang gawin iyon.
Because of what happened, I had to undergo therapy so I could overcome the trauma it caused me.
Halos isang taon ko ring nilabanan ang nakakamatay na trauma na iyon. Walang nakakaalam sa mga taong nakakasalamuha ko sa araw-araw sa Manila tungkol sa nangyaring iyon sa akin.
I tried acting normal like what happened didn't exist because I realized at that time that the world wouldn't adjust for me.
The world wouldn't stop and wait for me to overcome my trauma, so I forced myself to be strong enough to face each day and leave the trauma behind.
Pati ang mga traumang nakuha ko galing kay Mama at Papa ay unti-unti ko ring ibinaon sa limot para makapagsimula ng bagong buhay sa Manila.
I don't want to waste any more years of my life. I want to restart anew, so that's what I did here in Manila.
Pero hindi ko naisip na pwede pala nila akong masundan dito at muling pakialaman. Nagpakampante ako na tahimik at payapa ang aking buhay nang tatlong taon kaya ngayong unti-unti na silang nagpaparamdam ay nanunumbalik na naman sa akin ang mga alaalang naibaon ko na sa limot.
There are still a lot of traumatizing experiences that happened to me in Cebu.
I almost drowned in the pool, I almost died because of not consuming food or water, I earned several wounds and bruises every day, I received several undesirable words from my own parents, called names I didn't know I was in their perspective, I almost died, sexually abused-all of that was slowly disappearing from my memory and was being replaced with happy and peaceful experiences here in Manila.
But maybe, fate was really playing games on me dahil nasa pangatlong taon palang ako sa mapayapang buhay na binubuo ko sa aking sarili ay pinakialaman na nila ako.
Tatlong araw na simula nang maabutan ko si Mama sa apartment namin na nakikipag-usap kay Mara.
Tatlong araw na rin akong hindi pumapasok at umuuwi sa apartment. Tawag nang tawag sa akin si Mara noong unang araw na hindi ako nakauwi pero hindi ko iyon sinagot at binlock ang number niya.
