It was before six when the plane landed in Manila.
After that encounter with Sienna, I haven’t seen her again.
Palaisipan pa rin sa akin kung ano ang ginagawa niya doon at kung paano niya nalaman ang lahat ng iyon.
If she’s a friend of Louie, then they must be so close that he told her everything about me.
Pamilya lang namin at ang mga Rivera ang nakakaalam na ikakasal kami ni Louie kapag nakapagtapos na ako ng college.
They planned that it should be right after I graduated from high school. We were just waiting for me to turn 18 that time so they could tie the knot, but something happened that forced Mamie to help me out of that arrangement.
Tanggap ko naman sana eh. Tanggap ko na dadating at dadating ang oras na itatali ako sa taong hindi ko mahal.
Bata palang ako, wala na akong kalayaan.
My parents would decide everything for me, from the dress I should wear to the school I should attend, my bags, my friends, and my decisions, all of it.
They are the ones who decide for me, and I let them because I was not yet capable of escaping from their grip. I tried so many times to decide on my own and break their rules, but every time I tried, I suffered.
Napagod ako sa kakasubok kaya sinukuan ko.
I experienced being locked in the basement where I couldn’t see any light. No food, no water for three days.
It was just three fucking days, but it almost sent me to death.
I didn’t experience how it felt to die, but I experienced the feeling of being lifeless.
Growing up, I knew that I was not like other kids or teenagers my age. I knew that I was just born so my parents could have another instrument to achieve the things they wanted.
It was such a disgrace to be their daughter, but I didn’t have a choice.
Hindi ko ginustong maging anak nila pero napili silang maging magulang ko.
Even if I didn’t want it, I was destined to live this kind of life.
What happened before was a blessing in disguise, but not too good to be called a blessing.
It was indeed the reason why I got my freedom, but it is also the reason why I almost lost myself.
It stole the other half of me… I almost lost it all if I hadn’t undergone medications to overcome the trauma and fear.
It was a heavy experience, but I’m so glad that I made it this far.
Thanks to myself for choosing to continue when I could have given it all up.
My journey toward the life I have now is sacrificial and hard.
I don’t want to compromise this, and so I will do everything to protect the life I’ve been taking care of for three years now.
“H-Hey… Why are you h-here?” Gulat ang bagong gising na mukha ni Kairo nang makita ako sa labas ng kaniyang condo.
I chose to come here straight from the airport because I somehow needed someone to accompany me so I wouldn’t be lost in my thoughts and worries.
I want distractions and noise right now.
Silence would kill me, especially in this state.
Hindi ko siya sinagot at agad siyang niyakap. I buried my face in his chest as I silently let my tears fall again.
