Scared to love

Jake's POV

We were so shocked when we came home, seeing her on the floor, shaking and crying like that. It absolutely destroyed me when she said that she thought that we left her. I'm sure she knows we wouldn't do that but maybe it's because of her overthinking that she's like this. Maybe because of her old family, she started overthinking everything, causing reactions like this. Now that I think about it, could this be the reason she believes that she wouldn't be a good mom? I wish that she knew what a wonderful woman she is in our eyes, literally saving all of us without even knowing it. She's still in my lap but now Owen is in her arms. Tears are still rolling down her cheeks, but at least she's giving us a little smile now. We're actually kind of lucky that the kid is here because I don't think she would've been smiling otherwise. Dakota takes his son back because I noticed Chloë getting weaker so I signed it to him. 

"Angel?", I try. "Hmm?" "How long have you been crying now?" "I don't know, how late is it?" "It's about 12 p.m.", Matthew replies. "A few hours then", she says absent-mindedly. "And when did you last eat something?", I ask her again. "Don't know since like 6 p.m. last night maybe", she says. "You didn't have breakfast?", Dakota asks. She shakes her head and cuddles up to me. "No angel, you should eat something first", I tell her. "No I'm just tired", she tries to argue but then her stomach starts growling for all of us to hear. "Well I guess I should eat something", she says, looking embarrassed. I laugh before telling her we'll order something to eat. "Next time all of you decide to leave me alone in the house after I lashed out, can you like at least leave a note?", she asks us while we're eating. "Well if it ever happens again, we'll make sure somebody stays home", Matthew says, "because you scared the living shit out of me, shaking and crying like that!" "Sorry, somehow I convinced myself that you guys had left me and would never return", she murmurs. "We're not like the people of your past C", Dakota says. "And don't get me wrong now, I don't want to upset you, but don't you think it might be better if you'd start going to therapy for this?", Dakota adds. "I know, I've been thinking about it for a while now too but like I yelled at you yesterday, I don't have the money for it", she responds.

When she ate her lunch, we told her to get some more sleep. Yesterday, when she was at work, I used her laptop to figure out what our debt to her was, noticing it's way more than we expected it to be. After we did the math, we all send our amount to her bank account, but I don't think that she has seen it yet since she didn't mention anything. This morning we went out together to get her a 'thank you' basket, filled with stuff we know she likes. We put the basket on the table and decorate it a little more, hoping she'll like it. "Can't lie, she really scared me today", Dakota says while feeding Owen. "Yeah, I mean we've seen her cry before but this was a lot more than just crying. On the other hand she can scare me easily, do you know how much weight she can lift? Or how mad she can look? I swear, once in my dream, I said something wrong to her and she looked so pissed at me, I was convinced she'd kill me right there and then. I straight up avoided her for a week just in case", Matthew says. "That was why you were avoiding her? That was such a weird week, this honestly explains so much", I reply, remembering the week in question. He kept avoiding her like she was the plague or something.

It's halfway the afternoon when Chloë comes back downstairs. "So, enjoyed your nap?", Matthew asks. "Yeah, but my head is killing me again, I hate crying", she responds. She looks around and when se notices the table, her eyes pop open. "Who's that for?", she asks, pointing at it. "The queen of this household ofcourse", Matthew says. She looks confused before pointing at herself with her head tilted a little. "Yes you, you're the only woman here remember?", Dakota responds. "You did that... for me?", she ask in disbelief, going closer to the basket. I stand up and go to her. "You deserve so much more angel, you know that too", I say after giving her a kiss on her nose. She looks through the basket getting more and more excited by the stuff in it. "You guys know me so good", she says before attacking all of us with hugs. "Apperently not good enough since we didn't know that you were having such a difficult time", I sigh. "Don't blame yourself too much, I should've asked for your help", she responds, taking my face in her hands. "I'll work on it, I promise", she says.