You're not alone

Nightmares

S/H warning

Alastor laid in bed sleeping soundly. As usual, he wasn't much of a dreamer, so tonight was no different for him as his mind was nothing but a black void. He found himself stirring a bit and waking up as he felt shifting beside him. Opening his eyes he looked beside him to see lucifer tossing around some and mumbling out a couple of words, his face tensed up instead of relaxed and his hands had fisted the bed sheet holding them in a death grip. Alastor sat there for a moment watching him and listening, trying to figure out if it was a bad dream or pain...or just lucifer things, he watched as he whimpered out softly.
"N..no.....d..don't leave me" he heard come out in such a broken tone as he noticed a tear running down his face, deciding to intervene he reached over and laid a hand on top of lucifers head and watched as he flinched and freeze at the contact. Alastor proceeded to run his fingers through lucifers hair, his fingers trailing along his scalp and he watched as lucifers face slowly started to relax, Alastor smiled some at this and proceed to try and fall back asleep.

Lucifer was one for haunted dreams and nightmares on a regular basis. He managed to avoid them the previous night so he was getting a double whammy it seemed this night, he was being troubled with the dream of loosing charlie which truly haunted him, though halfway through the dream for some reason Alastor had appeared in it. He just stood there, didn't say anything or do anything, and lucifer found himself focusing on him, and it calmed him down.
Making his way towards Alastor in the dream, he was stopped by Alastor holding up a hand.
"Wh...what's wrong, Al?" He asked before Alastor shook his head and turned and started in the other direction. A confused lucifer took off after him
"Wait up, Al...what's happening?" He asked for no reply. He continued to close the gap before getting right behind him, only to be backhanded and sent to the ground with thud and cradling his cheek. He looked up with teary eyes as Al looked down at him with disgust.
"You just don't get it, do you?"
"W..what are...you"
"I don't love you. I don't want to be with you. Your daughter dying was the best that happened. It got her away from you. Lilith left, your own family kicked you out....open your pathetic little eyes and take a hint. Nobody loves you, nobody cares for you. " Alastor spat out coldly while glaring down at the king on the floor who had started to shake as the tears threatened to spill.
"B..y.y..you said you...lo..loved me?"
Alastor laughed out at this.
"And how could I love such a pathetic little being such as yourself..my reputation would be trashed and I'd be a laughing stock"
"Th..the...then why did...you"
"Are you really that stupid?" he spat out as he leaned down.
"To torment you..punish you, make you feel abandoned and hopeless like Charlie...why else would I put up with such pathetic and needy feelings. Why don't you just do us all a favor and kill yourself. We would be better off without you, " he said as he got up before turning and leaving. Lucifer sat in the black void of darkness now before opening his eyes and sitting with a startled gasp. The tears were running down his face from the nightmare he just experienced as his body shook, looking over to his side as he wiped his eyes he spotted his knife sitting on his nightstand beside his bed. Without even thinking, he carefully slid out of the bed and grabbed it, and made his way out of the room, muttering an apology. Stepping out of the room and moving towards the balcony he walked out onto it feeling the crisp breeze flowing around him, seeing the city down below and all the death and violence...it was all his creation just because of a idea, he stared out before his arms fell limp beside him, his shoulders sagged as he started to cry again, he brought the knife up to his wrist and was about to slice them again he was stopped by someone.
"LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR!"
Lucifer froze at hearing this, not even turning around to look.
"W..what do you want Al.." He said softly, not moving the knife away.
"What do you think you are doing!" He said a bit loudly. Not approaching just yet as he wasn't sure what stage lucifer was at right now, fearing an approach could make it worse.
"Ending my life...what does it look like I'm doing?" he said in a plain tone... no emotions being shown.
"Lucifer... you told me you couldn't die"
"With normal steal...this is angelic" Hearing those words made Alastors heart stop and his chest tighten up.
"You don't want to do this luci..."
"DON'T I!" Lucifer yelled out now as anger took place now, how dare he assume what he wanted.
"My entire life is a mess. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares. I've created nothing but death and violence" he shouted out, as the tears started to flow again. Alastors face softened and his ears folded back as he slowly took a step forward.
"Luci...listen to me...you are loved here" he started in as he got closer.
"I..I'm tired Al...tired of feeling this way, losing others around me..not sleeping...I...I want to die" he said softly as he looked down at the knife again, seeing his intention Al lept forward as he pushed down on his wrist and grabbed his hand.
"No!" Lucifer cried out as he started to struggle against his grip trying to free his arm.
"Dammit lucifer!"
They struggled for a bit and ended up on the floor with the knife tossed across the ground and Alastor using all of his strength and some of his tentacles trying to hold lucifer from behind as he fought to free himself.
"No no....let me go!...I want to die!" He cried out against Alastor and...it was breaking his heart that the king had been brought to this low of a point. Lucifer struggled for a little more before giving up and crying once more. Alastor gently moved him and pulled him up to his chest and rubbed his back.
"Luci dear...I know...things are hard for you...with all your past hardships and trauma..but this needs to stop, I can't keep worrying about you every time I find you missing from the bedroom....please luci...let us in...let us help you" he pleaded desperately as he held him tightly.
"I..don't know...what to do...Al..."
"It has to start somewhere luci" Alastor said softly as he kissed the top of his head now.
"What..set it off?"
Lucifer started to talk after a moment of silence and explained the nightmare and what was said and everything.
"Oh luci...." Al said as he pushed him back and looked at him.
"I love you...more then anything I have ever loved before" he said as lucifer looked away, only to have a hand on his chin gently bring his head back.
"I mean that my love...I will love and cherish you til my dying breath...as will Charlie, if someone doesn't love you then they are the fool" he said as he watched his eyes gloss over, he leaned down and captured his lips into a soft but passionate kiss, feeling lucifer melt back into it and slowly return it before breaking it off.
"I..im..sorry Al"
"Don't be sorry luci...but promise to talk to me when you start feeling like this...it will kill me if I lost you..that is a loss I am not willing to take" he said as he hugged the king tightly to his chest. Lucifer found himself crying again...but with a small smile, he felt loved and cared for, a feeling that has been nothing but a empty whole in his heart for decades.
"Now...let's get back to bed?" Lucifer nodded this and blushed a little as he was picked up bridal style and carried back to the room.
"I'm so"
"Don't say it love...I know you hit a bad spot...I'm not...mad..I was scared" Alastor said as they walked back into his bedroom
"Just promise me you'll talk to me next time luci?"
Lucifer nodded as they laid down and cuddled back up in the bed. He snuggled into Alastors chest for the warmth and felt safe...forbthe first time in a while he felt loved...it was a good feeling.