I See you, Y/N. (Emily Prentiss X Reader)

-52- the new aunt

TW: Wounds (Suicide) Suicidal Thoughts
Coma
Trauma
Anxiety
_______________________________

A Week later

JJ's POV

"Good morning Jennifer. How was your night?"
I rub my eyes and smile at Steve, who enters the room in his nurse's uniform.
"Good morning Steve. Everything's the same, but that's good, right?"
I answer tiredly and peel myself out of the chair in which I spent the night next to Y/N's bed.

Our days have been the same for a week now.
I spend the nights with Y/N, sleeping on the empty chair next to her that Steve kindly provided for me.
It's a chair that is usually used for chemotherapy and other long treatments of this kind, so it can be folded all the way back to catch up on some sleep.

Everyone in the ICU is nice and understanding, and since we're not only Y/N's only family, but also the FBI, visiting hours don't really apply to us.

Tara and Penelope take turns coming over so I can shower and look after my kids, and they've offered to stay overnight several times, but I've told them I'm happy to do it.

To be honest, I just can't leave Y/N alone overnight.
Just the thought of her waking up and maybe wishing she wasn't here anymore scares me so much I can hardly breathe.
I tried one night, but I almost went crazy at home.

While my boys slept peacefully, I paced up and down the kitchen, imagining the worst scenarios of how Y/N might be feeling right now. I endured that for a few hours, then I explained to Will that he had to take care of the boys and rushed back to the hospital as fast as I could.

Steve checks Y/N's vital signs and sighs quietly as he writes something on the clipboard.
I sink down onto the edge of the bed and take her cold hand as he walks around the bed and gives me a quick glance.
I nod in agreement, like every morning, and he begins to remove the bandage from her arm.

Apart from me, no one still knows about Y/N's cut and the probable cause.
I have explained to all the nurses that this topic must not be brought up in front of Emily, in order not to cause more damage.

Her guilt is already eating her up from the inside. If she knew about it now, Emily would probably break.

I want to talk to Y/N about it in peace first.

That's why the bandage is only changed when the morning shift has finished and everyone else from our team is not here yet.

Most of the time it is Steve, I think he likes Y/N, because he often has shifts where he looks after her and he does it so gently and lovingly, as if she were a member of his family.

He disposes of the old bandage and looks at the wound.
Meanwhile, I stay sitting with Y/N, holding her hand tightly and squeezing it gently while I try not to look at the large red wound that marks her forearm and is only healing very slowly.

Tears burn in my eyes every time as I imagine how she must have felt in that moment.

Was that her solution?

When she wakes up, will she be mad that she's still here?

Will she try again?

It's hard not being able to talk to anyone about it, but I feel like I'm betraying Y/N if I talk about it now.
And saying it out loud would somehow make it more real.