I See you, Y/N. (Emily Prentiss X Reader)

-56- a few seconds of courage

A/N:Hello lovelies,
even if I can't or don't want to ignore the negative feedback (I take it very seriously), your positive messages will stay in my mind just as much.

I have decided not to take the end of this story away from you or me.
So I'll keep writing!

I ask every reader to pay close attention to the trigger warning.
If you're not feeling well or it's too stressful to read something like this, then please find a story that's only about the good things.

I'm always open to criticism and ask you to continue to express your opinion openly and freely.
I love reading your comments and every notification from this app makes me so happy, but there's a difference between criticism and opinion and accusations or insults.

You know that I'm not feeling well right now and this platform and my stories are my safe space.
If you don't like it, that's totally fine, but then just don't read on, OK?
I'm not forcing anyone to read, please don't destroy other people's safe space and be nice to each other.
Lots of love
xx L xx
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TW: Mentioning of Suicide
         Anxiety, Worries
        Breakdown
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Emily's POV

"Hey, is the seat free?" I hear a familiar voice next to me and need a moment to free myself from my carousel of thoughts.
I raise my head, shake off the bad thought that has clung to my head and nod weakly before moving a little to the side.
Tara sits down on the small stone wall next to me, where I have been sitting for about two hours, staring at the entrance to the hospital.
Tara pulls something out of her bag and wordlessly holds out the open pack of cigarettes to me.
I take one and put it between my lips, Tara lights a lighter and raises it up while she protects the flame from the light wind with her hand.
I hold the cigarette in the flame and breathe deeply, the smoke fills my lungs and the unfamiliar feeling awakens the need to cough, but then my body seems to remember earlier times and a welcome calm spreads through me.
I tilt my head back slightly and  exhale the smoke towards the sky, where it seems to mix with the dark rain clouds.

"Y/N's aunt will take her with her." Tara says calmly, without looking at me.

I take another deep drag and think about her words for a moment.

"But Y/N is awake?" I reply, astonished, before exhaling the smoke again.

Now Tara turns her head towards me and looks at me with a serious expression.

"I know. But Y/N is not considered capable of making decisions....and you..."
Tara's voice fades away and she lights a cigarette herself with restless fingers, perhaps to avoid my gaze.
The light from the lighter briefly illuminates her face in the dusk and shows the deep worry lines that currently adorn her forehead.

"I wanted to talk to Y/N, but I wasn't allowed to go to her..." I explain tonelessly and fix my gaze again on the windows on the second floor, behind which I can see the blue walls of the intensive care unit.
Tara just nods and we both think for a moment while the smoke from our cigarettes envelops us.

"But Y/N isn't ready to be discharged yet, is she?" I say a sudden thought and everything inside me tenses up.

She can't take her away from the place that's supposed to help her.