I See you, Y/N. (Emily Prentiss X Reader)

-13- the highest Bid

TW:  Violence
          Mention of human trafficking
 

      Anxiety/ Panic

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Emily 's POV

I disappear into my office and try to calm myself down.

I pace nervously trough the room and run my fingers through my hair, trying to get my mind to stop.

Images of y/n run through my head.

I didn't tell her how I feel about her. What if she doesn't know? What if she thinks I'm not doing everything I can to find her?
What if she gives up?

My legs can't hold me anymore and I sink to my knees.
I bury my face in my hands and feel the worry tearing me apart from the inside.
I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to fight someone. But I can't.

I feel dull.

Then there is a knock on my door, at first hesitantly, then more energetically.
I try to get up, but I don't have the strength to lift myself off the Floor.

I just stay on the floor of my office and hope whoever it is leaves.

My office door opens.
JJ pokes her head through the door and her gaze briefly wanders around the darkened room before settling on me.
She snakes her way into the room and quickly closes the door behind her.

She approaches me carefully, as if I were a forest animal, which would disappear at the first noise.

I don't have the strength to pretend to be okay.
I stay seated, head down and pick at my now very sore fingernails.
JJ gets on her knees next to me and her blonde hair falls into my field of Vision as she leans down towards me.
I can feel her hand on my hands to stop me from picking.

"Emily, please talk to me." She says quietly, familiarly.

She hasn't called me Emily in a long time.

Since I became Chief, we have kept our friendship at a professional level.
To be honest, I just stopped talking about personal Things, and she now calls me Prentiss or Chief.
There is no one here who knows me as well as JJ.
She is my closest confidant, but I pushed her away to keep myself from worrying about her.

As chief, I've tried to keep a professional distance from everyone. I'm afraid of letting everyone get too close to me.
Worrying about my friends would destroy me at work.
I have to look at them as a team, not a family.

Worrying about y/n is too much to handle, it tears me apart. I couldn't do this everytime my Team is in potential Danger.

Still, it's good to see JJ sitting next to me, acting like my friend.

I missed her.

I lift my head and look at her, she looks worried.
Her eyes widen slightly as she notices the tears on my face, but she tries not to show it.

"This whole case is very close to you." She states. Without reproach, without question. Just a statement and I just nod.

“Because of y/n?” She asks, searching my gaze.
Tears well up in my eyes again and JJ immediately realizes what I've been trying to hide the whole time.

She squeezes my hands lovingly and a slight smile appears on her lips, a sad smile.

"You're closer to her than we know, right?" She asks and again I can only nod.