I See you, Y/N. (Emily Prentiss X Reader)

-46- one of them

TW: Homophobia
        Anxiety/ Panic
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JJ's POV

"Why didn't you tell us about this sooner, Tara?" Rossi asks, staring at the note Tara just showed us.
Tara paces the room, her hands wringing together and not looking at any of us.
"Because it was difficult. Those notes... I... It was bothering me. I just thought only I'd gotten them and wanted to deal with them myself."
She admits a little sheepishly and I take a few steps toward her before I can put a hand on her back.

"I didn't want this to happen." She says quietly as I stroke her back.
"It's okay, Tara.  It's not your fault."
I assure her as I watch Rossi pass the note to Luke.
I lead Tara to the bed and she sits on the edge, where her legs immediately start bobbing up and down.
I sit down next to her and take her hand, which she acknowledges with a quiet smile.

"So, as expected, these are all Bible passages that deal with the topic of sin." Luke says, without taking his eyes off the thick book he is holding in his hand.
He found the Bible in the bedside table and spent the last few minutes looking up the passages and writing them down.
He passes his handwritten notes to Rossi, who reads through the quoted passages while his lips wordlessly form the words, that we're used to threaten Tara.
"Even if the passages do not explicitly mention homosexuality, they are often used by the church as a justification," he explains, now looking at the tablet that is lying on the table in front of him. 
I squeeze Tara's hand lovingly to show her that I'm there.

I can't imagine how terrible that must be for her.
To be treated so hostilely by complete strangers for something she can't change.

"Where did you find the notes?"
I ask gently and Tara's gaze meets mine.
Her dark eyes are full of worry and a little shame as she answers me in a shaky voice.

"The first one was pushed under the door. The second one was on the bed when we got back."
She presses her lips together and seems to be struggling with her feelings.
"I didn't think about the fact that Emily and
Y/N probably got messages too.
That's why I didn't say anything at first.
I thought... I thought it was..." She doesn't finish her sentence, but I see the tears shining in her eyes.
"It's okay..." I whisper and squeeze her hand tighter while Tara lowers her gaze.

She feels guilty and there's nothing I can do to take that feeling away from her right now. 

"Where is Y/N now?" Rossi asks and for a moment we all look at each other.

A bad feeling spreads in my stomach.

When she left the hotel after the phone call, I wanted to run after her.
But then Tara sheepishly told us about the notes that had been passed on to her anonymously during the course of the case and we retreated to Rossi and Luke's room to make sense of the whole mess.

We all agreed that Emilys call was her was of trying to protect Y/N.
Especially after those biblical threatening notes, we were sure that Emily didn't go voluntarily and just pushed Y/N away to probably get her out of the line of fire.

But did Y/N know that too?
Only now do I fully understand how hurt she must be if she took Emily's words seriously.

"I'll go check on her. Do you want to call it a day?" I ask the group.

A look at the clock on the wall of the room reveals that it's well after midnight.
But none of us can think about sleeping now.