I See you, Y/N. (Emily Prentiss X Reader)

-27- it would be for the best

TW: selfharm wounds
Talking about Suicide
Razorblades/ Pills
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Emily's POV

"She's not answering her Phone, damn it!"
I nervously pace up and down the hallway while I keep dialing Y/N's number.
JJ waits in front of Penelope's office door and watches me, unsure of what's the Problem right now.
"Emily, please explain to me what's going on? What does Buttercup mean?"
she asks, trying to get my attention, but I keep nervously pacing up and down the hallway.
Suddenly she stands resolutely in front of me, making me stop to look at her, while I raise the phone to my ear again.
But again my call goes nowhere.

"That's her safe word. We agreed on it when she had a panic attack, before the kidnapping.
She should use it when she's not feeling well and can't explain exactly what the problem is.
I promised her that all she had to do was to say the word and then I would come to her and help her through it.
But I don't know where she is."
I end the unanswered call, throw my hands above my head, and feel panic squeezing my heart tightly.

"We'll find her, Emily. I promise."
JJ takes my hand and pulls me back into Penelope's office.
"Penelope, we need your genius skills."
JJ says firmly and doesn't let go of my hand.
"Can you locate Y/N's cell phone? It's an emergency."
Penelope turns to us, panic spreads across her face and her eyes wander back and forth between us.

"An emergency? Is she in danger? What happened?" Penelope sounds as nervous as I feel and I notice anxious nausea rising in me.

"We don't have time for long explanations, Pen. You'll find out everything later, I promise." JJ explains, putting a hand on her shoulder while squeezing mine tightly.
"We have to find her quickly."
I add, and my tone tells everyone that I'm not feeling well.

"Yes, of course." Garcia gets to work, but her hands are shaking slightly as they fly over the keyboard with practice.

"Her cell phone is logged into the building's WiFi, so she can't be far away." Penelope notes, looking at one of her screens.
She is fully focused on her work and her worries seem to have vanished.
Meanwhile, I can hardly think clearly.
Potential dangerous situations that Y/N could be in are racing through my head; each one worse than the last.

"Can you locate it more precisely?"
I ask impatiently and try my best not to be rude.
"No, unfortunately not...but I could look at the surveillance videos...."
she says slowly as she calls up the surveillance images.
In fast forward, images of the day in the lobby appear on her screen and we all stare at them, mesmerized.
"There she is." I shout out loud and point to the screen that shows Y/N entering the elevator in the lobby.
she looks tired, but otherwise unharmed.
garcia searches the videos of the moved floors until she rediscovers Y/N. she leaves the elevator on the BAU floor.
but she looks different.
her gaze is fixed straight ahead and she slowly walks out of the picture as if in a trance.
she doesn't look like herself.
what happened in the elevator?
"She's walking towards the washrooms."

Garcia notices and wants to say something else. I don't listen any further, but quickly leave the room and rush towards the washrooms, JJ runs after me.

I suddenly stop in front of the door as if petrified, suddenly realizing what all this might mean.

"What if she tried to...."

I must have said it out loud, because JJ places a hand on my shoulder and just shakes her head, as if she wanted to make it clear that she doesn't believe it.
But her pressed lips reveal something else.