TW: Anxiety
ED
Suicidal Thoughts
And finally: Smut Warning again ;)
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Y/N's POV
"Hey, how about pizza?"
I interrupt the quiet car ride to Emily's apartment.
I point to the Italian Restaurant on the left side of the street as we wait at the traffic lights.
It's Emily's favorite Italian restaurant.
We were there once to get pizza, the evening my teddy bear disappeared.
It wasn't that long ago, but it felt like it was in a different life.
The incident once again divided my life into before and after.
And not just mine, unfortunately Emily's life too.
Our life...
Emily turns her head to me and her face lights up like a child seeing candy.
"That sounds great!" She answers excitedly and when the traffic light turns green she immediately drives into the restaurants parking lot.
I know it's not the prospect of pizza that got her excited, but the fact that I suggested it on my own.
After our conversation in front of the hospital, we both held each other and cried a little more and then decided to go home and only talk about nice, light things for today.
That's probably why she didn't broach the subject of food again; instead, we drove in silence while her hand squeezed mine tightly. Whenever she had to shift gears, she would simply pull my hand along with her so that she wouldn't have to let go.
I was happy for the support she quietly offered me.
Still I can't get the conversation out of my head. Emily now knows that I have thought about dying. And the worst thing is, she used to do it too.
If I gave up now, would I bring her down with me? Is it worth the risk?
What I said to her was true.
I wanted to stay.
For Emily, with Emily...
Together.
Even though it scared me and I was sure she deserved something much better.
I wanted to see what our lives could be like when this was all over.
Whether there is a life together.
The truth is, I can only imagine my future with her. As if there were no alternatives left in my head.
Our lives are inextricably intertwined.
It makes me happy to see how happy it makes her when I make healthy choices.
Even if I don't feel like I deserve happiness, food or love right now.
Emily deserves to be happy.
If that's the path I have to take to make her happy, I'll probably take it.
"What do you want to eat, my Love?"
She asks and smiles brightly at me.
"You choose, I trust your excellent taste!"
I answer and wink.
Emily casually pushes a strand of hair out of her face and laughs.
I want to hear that laugh for the rest of my life.
"Do you want to wait here?" Her gaze rests on me as her hand strokes my thigh.
"Yes, please." I reply, trying not to sound sad.
"then I can watch you walk, Darling."
I boldly add to keep the mood light and a suggestive smirk appears on my face.
I really want to join Emily, but the thought of getting out and limping into that store is unimaginable.
She places a quick kiss on my cheek and leaves the car.
I watch the elegant swing of her hips as she walks towards the restaurant and then she suddenly turns around, sends me a mischievous look and seems to wiggle her hips in an extra-classic way the last few steps to the door.
I have to laugh.
I am so in Love with her.
While Emily waits for our Dinner, I'm lost in my thoughts and ask myself whether my job at the FBI is now history?
I really need to ask Tara about it.
Hopefully she keeps her word with the interrogation. She probably hasn't talked to Emily about it yet because she hasn't brought it up.
I want to get this done.
And at the same time, there's nothing scarier than thinking about talking about the time in the basement.
So far no one knows what exactly happened. Nobody dared to ask and I'm glad about that.
YOU ARE READING
I See you, Y/N. (Emily Prentiss X Reader)
Fanfiction"I'm living in hell. At least that's how it feels. But it's okay because I don't know any different. You can get used to anything if you think it's meant to be." Y/n is living her life in the hell of her childhood home until the BAU frees her. After...
