I See you, Y/N. (Emily Prentiss X Reader)

-8- I want you

TW: ED( talking about Restricted Eating)
Talking about Abusive Household/ Trauma
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Y/N's POV

Hey, my love, can I ask you something?"

We're sitting on Emily's sofa, Emily is sitting cross-legged with her arm around me, my head resting on her good shoulder as I hold her hand, our fingers intertwined.
I stretched my legs out to the side.

There are pizza boxes and salad on the table in front of us, two glasses of red wine next to them, and a romantic film is playing on the TV.

"Sure, anything," I say without looking at her.

"How bad is your problem with eating?"

The question hits me unexpectedly, and I hold my Breath, trying to think about it. I look at our clasped hands, watching our thumbs brush over each other as I consider how to respond.

"What do you mean?" I murmur, unsure of what she noticed.

I can feel, that she's taking a deep breath, her chest rising beneath my head.
She seems to be having a hard time finding the right words.

"When you're alone, you don't seem to eat. Your fridge was empty and a few days ago you didn't even notice that you hadn't eaten anything for four days.
As if that's normal for you..."

I squeezed her Hand slightly, to let her know I'm listening.

She takes another deep breath and continues talking.

"Your mind always seems to be somewhere else when you're eating, and sometimes you look so anxious...
You only eat when I eat and sometimes you're so quiet after eating..."

She kisses me on the Top of my head and strokes my hair.

"If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay. I just want you to know I'm here."

Her voice is quiet, she seems unsure if she's doing the right thing.

I shakily breathe away the tears swimming in my eyes and turn to look at her.
"Em, I...."

I let my eyes wander over her face and notice the concerns in her eyes.

I sigh.

I don't want her to worry about me. But I don't want to lie to her either.

"Em, I'll tell you everything, if you promise me something." my voice trembles and I feel the fear rising within me.

"Everything!"

She turns towards me so that we are sitting directly opposite each other on the sofa. She places her hands on my knees, which I have pulled up to my chest, and looks at me expectantly.

"Promise me you won't see me like that..." I whisper, so quietly that she can barely hear it.

"How am I not supposed to see you?" She asks and her voice is so loving that I can't hold back the tears.

"The way my mother saw me.
Weak, ugly, unlovable. Like a... a victim..."
I avoid her gaze as I wait for her answer.

Emily takes my chin between her thumb and forefinger to lift my head.
When our eyes meet, I see nothing but love in her gaze.

"Y/n, you are the most wonderful person I have ever met.
You are smart, funny, beautiful, sexy and strong.
Nothing you want to tell me could change that. When I look at you, I see my Y/N/N, no one else." Her index finger catches a few tears that run down my cheek.