I See you, Y/N. (Emily Prentiss X Reader)

-57- my fault

TW: Mention of Selfharm/Suicide
Homophobia
feelings of guilt/self-reproach
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Y/N's POV

My eyes flutter open and for a moment I can't place where I am.
My body feels heavy and exhausted, as if I had been awake for weeks and fallen asleep for a few minutes, only to wake up again, tired and disoriented.
My heart beats so hard and fast against my chest, like a trapped bird desperately flying against the bars of its cage, and a knot of indefinable fear and worry sits firmly in my stomach, causing me to feel nauseous.

My eyes scan the area, recognizing the interior of an unfamiliar car.
The windows are tinted, I can only make out the landscape flying past as shadows in the dark.

As I try to remember what happened, I hear a familiar voice that triggers a warm, familiar feeling in my heart.

A hand rests on my forehead and strokes my temple until it cups my cheek.

"You're safe, my love." Emily whispers softly and her face appears above me.

My head seems to be resting in her lap and she looks down at me lovingly while her hand strokes my face.
For a moment I allow myself to sink into her dark eyes, which radiate kindness and love, then I remember the last few days and panic takes hold of me.

I jump up and want to get up, but a stabbing pain flashes through my whole body and makes me groan, so that I sink back powerlessly.

"Slowly, my angel. Please stay lying down." Emily calms me down and strokes my hair.

"Where...where am I...what is...? I have to...I can't..."
I mumble incoherently and breathe against the pain in my body.

"We are in the back of a taxi. We are going home."
Emily explains to me in a calm voice and her gaze wanders searchingly over my face.

My eyes widen at her statement.
"Ho...home?" I stutter uncertainly and a hint of doubt immediately crosses her face, she leans back slightly and her eyebrows knit together in concern when she hears my nervous tone.

"Is that okay?
Oh God, I should have asked you that before."

Emily lets her hand fall from my face and bites her lower lip uncertainly before her thoughts bubble over her lips in the form of shaky words.

"If...if you'd rather go somewhere else, I can give the driver a different address.
You don't have to go home... And if you do want to go there, I... I could drop you off and then drive to a hotel... I... don't have to join..."
Emily runs her hand uncertainly through her silver hair and her eyes flicker searchingly over my face, looking for a reaction.
I reach out my hand and gently place it on her cheek.
"H... home with...y..you sounds... nice."
I murmur weakly, then my eyelids become too heavy to keep them open and I sink back into a dark sleep.
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I open my eyes and feel a comfortable, safe warmth surrounding me and a familiar scent fills my nose.
The smell of fabric softener, Emily's perfume and her very own scent hangs in the bedclothes, in which I now bury my nose and take in the scent of home.
A wave of memories floods through me and tears come to my eyes, so I pull the blanket even higher to hide them.

Home.
I missed this.
I thought this place was lost.

"Hey, sweetheart, how are you feeling?"

I hear Emily's voice gently from the other end of the room.
I blink away the tears and wipe the traces from my cheeks, then slowly pull the blanket down and turn to the side, which immediately causes my knee to respond with a throbbing pain.