Born A Weapon

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September 1st 1996

(tw: substance abuse/violence/mentions of kidnapping/ descriptive mentions of murder)

"Shit...."

I groaned wearily as I pushed myself off the antique wooden desk where I had unintentionally dozed off. Blinking and rubbing my tired eyes, I glanced around at my dimly lit, monochromatic room. The once vibrant colours now seemed to blend into a muted and sombre palette, casting a dreary atmosphere over the space.

The back of my throat felt as if it had been scraped by sandpaper, with a lingering dryness that made every breath uncomfortable. My nose tingled with a familiar sting, and my mouth was parched as if I had been wandering through a desert for days. My eyes are watering a little

I stood up groaning and grabbed the pink half-broken crayon to put another cross through the date when I saw it was the first of September which meant...

"fuck it's back to school..."

I groaned rubbing my face in my hands.

Over the past few days, this vacation has flown by at an unbelievable pace, making me realize how much things can change in such a short time. Just a few months ago, I had adamantly promised everyone around me that I would never touch drugs again. Yet, here I am with two small bags resting on my desk and some residue left from a line I snorted yesterday.

I knew someone would notice immediately if they saw the state of my eyes which were bloodshot and red but that is what spells are for

I strolled into the bathroom and found Draco already in there. I splashed some water on my face, brushed my hair, and applied makeup to conceal the redness in my eyes. I realized that my clothes were hanging loosely on my body, prompting me to wonder when I had last eaten. Returning to the bathroom, I noticed Draco brushing his teeth. I stepped on the scale and was dismayed to see that I weighed only 86 pounds (43 kilos).

"holy cow delphini that's not good"

Draco commented from behind me staring down at the scale toothbrush in hand and platinum hair sticking up like he had been electrocuted.

The night was incredibly tumultuous, with the sound of people screaming echoing from the basement and my mother displaying her usual behaviour. We only managed to get about 3 hours of sleep, which was consistent with the chaotic nature of the entire vacation.

I completely forgot that I was supposed to go to Grimwauld Place after my birthday to spend the last few days with Sirius and Remus. I also needed to start my paperwork to become an auror or a healer. Remus would be furious to see that I wasn't eating at least one meal a day, and even worse, I had dropped 4 pounds. On top of that, I had picked up a different, even worse habit than before. While tramadol could knock you out for a few days, cocaine could stop your heart in a beat without even having to overdose.

Draco took the time to prepare a scrumptious breakfast for both of us and made sure that I enjoyed every bite. He kindly offered to help me with packing and reassured me that everything would work out. When I returned to my room an hour later, having secretly gone into the basement to provide food for the prisoners without my father's knowledge, I was taken aback to discover that the two small bags and the remaining food were missing. Furthermore, all evidence of alcohol and drugs had disappeared from my room, including the bottle of wine that I had carefully concealed under one of the floorboards.

At 11 am Narcissa rounded us both up with our trunks and apperate us both to the platform once there we loaded our trunks into the carriage and walked through the unsteady train carriage. I spotted Luna and sprinted towards her almost flying into her arms not having realized how much I miss her presence in my everyday life.

The whole train ride was spent recapping what happened and harry swapping out cigarettes with each other
Hermione looked at me and said

"why didn't you show up to Grimwauld place we were waiting for days Sirius almost went to get you at one point threatening to break into Malfoy Manor to get you"

I sighed and looked down for a second

"honestly because of all the stuff that has happened these past few days I totally forgot but don't worry I was fine."

That night at dinner I realized who our new teacher was and I laughed inside myself seeing the old man sitting at the right side of the table staring at me like he had seen a ghost... Slughorn my father's old professor. Oh, I am going to have so much fun with this.

Dumbledor was holding a speech and honestly, I was zoning out and not paying attention until I was shaken awake

"He seemed to all the world

a student like any other.

His name: is Tom Riddle.

Today of course he's known

all over the world by another name.

Which is why, as I stand looking out upon

you tonight, I'm reminded of a sobering fact:

Every day, every hour, this very minute perhaps,

dark forces attempt to penetrate this castle's walls.

But in the end, their greatest weapon is you."

I stared forward at Dumbledore with a burning hatred in my chest how dare he speak his father's name so uncaringly how dare he stand there and talk about my father like he didn't abandon my father when he came asking for help with his mental quarrels?

I wanted to kill Dumbledore I wanted to put my hands around his pale neck and squeeze till the ever-shining light faded out his eyes I wanted to hear him gasp for air as I asphyxiated him.

But then again that fantasy wouldn't come true...would it?