Jahnnie Drabbles 4✿

☆"I Want Your Feelings."☆

TW: depression, self-doubt, difficulty understanding feelings/social cues/masking, emotional distress, mental illness, confusion, anxiety.

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Jake couldn't get his mind off of Johnnie. He was unable to sleep. Tossing and turning in his bed. He stopped on his side. Staring at the alarm clock on the nightstand.

Jake's mind was racing, unable to shut down. The clock on his nightstand seemed to be ticking away even slower than usual. He rolled onto his back and let out a frustrated sigh, his thoughts fixated on Johnnie.

It was ridiculous, he thought. They were just friends, and yet he couldn't get him out of his head.

The memory of Johnnie's smile, the sound of his laughter, and the way he would playfully shove Jake when they teased each other - it all played in his mind like a loop. He turned to face the ceiling, feeling a mix of guilt and curiosity.

"Fuck..." He whispered as he covered his face. Before he digged his chipped black polished nails into his hair. Tugging on the chocolatey brown mullet locks in frustration.

Jake closed his eyes, trying to shake the thoughts away. But the more he tried, the more he couldn't ignore the way his heart would skip a beat when he was around Johnnie.

It was like a constant battle within himself, trying to rationalize his feelings as nothing more than friendship.

But the more he denied it, the more it seemed like a lie. He groaned in frustration and turned onto his side again, burying his face into his pillow.

He reopened his eyes when he heard muffled crying on the otherside of the wall. It was coming from Johnnie's bedroom. Jake sits up in his bed, listening closely to the crying sounds.

Johnnie was lying in bed, tears streaming down his face. He was trying his best to muffle his sobs, not wanting anyone to hear him. He felt like such an idiot, crying over something so stupid.

But he couldn't help it. He had been having these confusing feelings for Jake lately, and it was eating away at him.

The thought of telling Jake how he felt terrified him, and the fact that Jake probably didn't feel the same way made it even worse.

Jake moves the fuzzy red weighted blanket off himself. Swinging his PJ plaid covered pants legs to the floor. His feet landed on the wooden flooring as he stood himself up. His eyebrows furrowed together in concern as he walked to his bedroom door.

Twisting the door knob. He went outside of his bedroom. He walked himself sluggishly down the hallway - since his exhaustion and overthinking feelings have been eating at him. He reached Johnnie's door and knocked softly.

Johnnie froze as he heard the knock on his door. He quickly wiped away his tears, trying to compose himself.

He didn't want anyone to see him like this, especially not Jake."Y-Yeah?" He called out, his voice shaky and hoarse from crying.

"Hey, Johnnie. Can i come in?" Jake softly spoke against the door. He bit the inside of his cheek as he waited for a response. His facial expression is monotoned.

Johnnie hesitated for a moment, his heart racing. He didn't want to burden Jake with his problems, but he also knew that Jake wouldn't just go away until he talked to him.

"Sure, come in," Johnnie replied, trying to sound casual. He quickly sat up in bed, running a hand through his messy hair and hoping that his tear-stained face wasn't too obvious.

When Jake turned the knob and opened the door - he can visibly see Johnnie's emotional distress. He witnessed black streaks of makeup rolling down Johnnie's face, and tears dried onto his pale porcelain cheeks.