Complicated

Chapter 28

Song for the chapter is Colouring by Kevin Garrett. Play once I put the three dots.

I know I shouldn't. I know that what I'm about to do is wrong, but I'm going to do it anyway. Somewhere deep in my stomach I have a feeling that things aren't going to change. He's still going to act differently around his friends, in terms, keeping me a secret from the public eye.

The thing is, I can't ignore the attraction I feel towards him. If I could, I wouldn't be giving into his pleas for forgiveness.

When the last bell rings, the butterflies that have been swarming around in my stomach, only become worse. I take my time grabbing my things out of my locker and walking out of the school. The more time I take to get to Gavin, the more my nerves increase.

"Hey," Gavin greets, looking relieved. He probably thought I would stand him up, to be honest, I was thinking about it, but then again, I want to hear his explanation. I want to know how exactly he plans to make me forgive him.

"Hey," I whisper, twiddling with my fingers. He smile slightly and walks over to the passenger side of his truck, opening up the door for me. "Thanks."

He nods in acknowledgment and climbs in on the other side.

The car ride is silent and awkward. I've contemplated hurling myself out of the moving vehicle a couple of times, but something always seems to be stopping me. Him. I want to be with him, I'm falling hard and fast for him. I gave in to quickly, but I can't help it. I want him in every way possible, his mistakes don't even play a part in my decision.

Five minutes later, we pull up into his drive way and I get out. We walk up together, he unlocks the door and I step in after him.

"We can go up to my room," Gavin says over his shoulder as we walk towards the stairs.

I'm a bit hesitant on going to his room. It's not that I think he will try anything with me, just that I might give in easier when having him so close and in a secluded place with me.

Gavin sits on his made bed while I stand awkwardly by the closed door. He seems to realize my discomfort and immediately addresses the issue.

"You can sit on the desk chair, if you'd like," he nods towards the black twirly chair. I nod and take a seat, facing him. I wait a couple minutes for him to speak and when he does I listen. "I don't know why I did what I did on Friday, I don't, but I know that I hate knowing that's the reason you were upset."

"But you don't know why you did it?" I raise my eyebrows skeptically.

"I know it's confusing, but please listen to me."

"I'm listening," I snap. My irritation level only seems to be increasing, when I thought it would decrease when knowing why Gavin did what he did.

"Alright then. When Chanel spilled your lunch on you, I didn't see it. Everyone started laughing, including the people around me. I had asked Darren what everybody was laughing about, and he told me Chanel spilled a lunch on someone. I started laughing along, well, because who wouldn't?"

"I wouldn't," I tell him flatly. "That still doesn't explain anything."

"When you looked at me, I realized that it was you. I stopped laughing, I've never felt so guilty in my life. It was the worst feeling in the world, knowing that I didn't do anything, because I didn't know it was you." He shakes his head, looking down at the ground.

"Okay," I try to understand. I guess it kind of makes sense, I mean when I looked at him in the cafeteria he looked so regretful, but I thought it was just part of his little facade.