Better off dead

Better off dead chapter 32

Better off dead chapter 32

(A/N: no matter what happens in this chapter this is not the end of the story okay there is more of the shit storm coming your way...)

Franks POV

Kneeling silently beside me, he leaned down slightly and planted a soft kiss to my trembling lips, one hand around my waist and the other in my hand.

"Everything is going to be okay, just relax... That'll make it much easier for the both of us Frankie..." He breathed, switching our positions so that I was straddling him, his right arm around my back and the other on the back of my head and neck.

"Gee... I'm scared..." I breathed, as he stopped leaning in towards my neck and let his head lay in the crook of my neck, placing small and soft kisses to my collar bone. Not trying to tease but trying to comfort.

"I know... I am too, but if we do this everything will be so much better... One last scare before we're both invincible?" He smiled onto my skin, rubbing his thumb over the back of my neck soothingly.

"One last scare... I love you Gerard..." I breathed out heavily, letting go of the breath I didn't know I was holding and looking down to him as he whispered an "I love you too" back up to me.

It'll worth it, won't it?

I mean, she won't bother either of us again... I'll be his permanently and then she'll know there's no going back.

Well be okay.

Nobody will want us dead.

But what if she was right?

I couldn't trust him?

No matter what was going to happen I didn't care.

If he turned me and she had been wrong all along it was be amazing and preferable of course. But if he didn't turn me, and she was right all along, this life wouldn't be worth living anyways. I'd rather be destroyed by something much more beautiful than my existence could ever create than live a day without it.

Carefully placing a gentle kiss to the side of my neck and pulling back my head with his hand, I closed my eyes and began to feel the all too familiar burning sensation coursing through my veins as he punctured my neck. Slowly, I could feel my arms go limp and heavy as my eyes closed.

Any of these could be my final breaths and even though there was a fear eating away at the back of my mind that I would never wake up, I had never been happier.

Feeling the draining sensation radiating through my body on a much larger scale than before, panic and fear over came my body.

"Frank- Frankie! A-are you okay? You're s-shaking! Oh god, I can't stop now it's- it's too dangerous!" He practically cried, holding me tight and close to his body as he ran his hand over my back and played with my hair in stress.

"N-no I can't! I-I'm not ready! She's right I can feel it! I'm- I'm going to die! It's just like the dreams but worse, she's not going away because she f-fucking right, isn't she? This- this is killing me!" I screamed out in pain, shuffling away from him as I clutched my neck in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

It was no good.

I was bleeding out.

I was going to die.

She was right.

This is my life and I'm signing off with the only regret I have: not taking my enemies advice and getting away from Gerard as soon as possible.

Although I regret what got me here, I could never bring myself to regret the decision of befriending Gerard Way, I knew from day one that this boy would be the death of me and here we were.

I was lying with my head in his lap staring up at his teary eyes and messy black hair as he clutched me close to his body and held the gauze to my neck, speaking what I thought would be the last words I ever heard.

"No frank no! It's not true! I- I love you, she making you think this! For fuck sake if she'd never started to ruin things this wouldn't have happened to us! Please just hold on Frankie i'll fix this..." He sobbed, tears falling down on to me as he cried, a single tear rolling down from my eye.

"You dye your hair black don't you?" I smiled, rubbing my thumb over the hand I was holding, pulling him closer into a small embrace.

"What? W-why?" He tried to smile through the tears at my odd comment but they kept on falling down his tragically beautiful face.

"Just tell me... If these are my last moments then this is how I'd like them to go... Don't be scared sugar, ill always be with you and 'ill always love you no matter what... Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean I'll be gone-" I cooed, getting cut off and gripping his hand tighter as I felt my eyes becoming heavier and my heart rate slowing to an alarming rate.

"Please... Please don't talk like that, I'm going to fix this... I'm going to fix you... I'm going to fix us..." He breathed, continuing to speak in muffled sobs. "I dye my hair black every few weeks, why do you ask?" He cried gently as he tried to bare what could be our final moments.

"It's true then, what I first thought about you the day we met... I-I make up little things, I guess you could call them lines of songs, about people when I first meet them... Yours was one of my personal favourites..." I cleared my throat and tried sitting up slightly, feeling the pain in my neck burning holes into my skin.

"It's ironic really, the things I wrote apply more to us now than ever before... It went a little something like... We can leave this world, leave it all behind, we can steal this car if your folks don't mind, we can live forever if you've got the time..." I sang through broken tears and immense pain just to try and bring a smile to his face through all the misery I was causing him.

"I'm the only friend that makes you cry, you're a heart attack in black hair dye so just save yourself and I'll hold them back tonight..." I hummed, feeling tears roll down my cheek as I lay my head back in his lap and wishing I could just go back to that moment, safe in the past where I was in control.

"T-that was beautiful Frankie... I love you so much and you can't ever forget that, no matter what happens to us you can't forget it! I need you... Fuck, I'll always need you, Frank Iero and all his little talents and quirks is what I need and if anything happened to any of that I don't know what I'd do besides I've never liked the idea of change that much and now everything seems so perfect that change can go fuck itself..." He half laughed, watching my eyes close as I spoke my final words to him.

"I love you too Gerard, more than I have anything before... Even life itself, fuck, I never even had a life before you came along... How is it that the boy who is dead showed me how to live and even though it was a short time I wouldn't have changed it in any way... Gerard Arthur Way, I love you more than life itself and It was a privilege to spend my final moments with you... You can't be sad about this because your the one that made me happy..." I whispered, feeling a final tear of Gerard's fall to my face as a wave of numbness washed over me, this was it, this was the end of me.

Even though it should have been a sad time I couldn't help but think: this was it, this was my ultimate and final moment of brief happiness as a result of my loneliness. I'd had more and more of these since Gerard came along, enough of them for me to start just calling them moments of happiness.

No longer brief or because of my loneliness. He filled that gap in my life.

He'd came into my life and turned it upside in the best possible way and I couldn't be happier because of that.

I never have nor ever will love anything like I did Gerard Way, when nobody even acknowledged my existence he made it feel like I was the only thing that mattered on this Earth...