Unexpected

COMMUNICATE

Relief was an understatement when Lily finally answered the phone. I knew I fucked up and I wanted to show her that I was truly sorry for what I did.

To my surprise, she didn't sound upset when I talked to her and she agreed to come to my place to have a serious conversation.

Lily wanted to drive instead of me picking her up which let me know I wasn't out of the dog house just yet.

When she came inside, I was sitting on the couch in silence. She had a key to my place and it felt good to see her using it.

"Hey."

She shut the door then put her bag down. I got up from the couch to greet her.

"Hey."

I wanted to kiss her lips but didn't want to push it. Thankfully, she kissed me and I took full advantage of the moment

"Mmm..." Lily softly moaned.

My hands pulled her closer and my tongue took over hers. I was hoping this wouldn't end but she pulled away to catch her breath.

"Ak-Akim, we need to talk."

"Right.."

I took her small hand and led her to the couch but she pulled away.

"What's wrong?"

"Let's sit at the table."

Lily meant business, so I gave her a nod then followed her to the dining room table. We sat in silence for a few seconds then I began to hear a soft heartbeat.

"Akimitsu, I've had some time to think and I realized it's unfair to blame this pregnancy all on you."

"Petals, you had every right to feel that way. You trusted me enough to not use protection and I let you down."

"No, I should've been more conscious and responsible for my body. I'm not supposed to depend on you for that."

I could see the guilt in her eyes, I hate seeing her like this. It was my fault and I could've been more responsible.

"In my opinion this could've been avoided, if I took the initiative to use protection or at least pulled out."

"No, I should have been proactive and protected myself."

I sighed then sat back in the chair.

"Well, I still wanted to apologize for everything. I'm going to be here with you every step of the way."

"Really?"

I leaned forward, putting her hands in mine. "Absolutely, baby."

She looked down then back at me with a soft smile.

"Well, I had time to think things through and weigh all my options."

"Okay."

"I'm terminating the pregnancy."

My heart fucking dropped.

***

The look on Akim's face was heartbreaking. I really didn't know what reaction he was going to give me but I'm hoping it doesn't get any worse than this.

"What?"

"I'm not keeping it."

"It's our baby, Lily."

"Yeah, I know, but I'm not ready for a child."

I could see his energy falter and his eyes filled with despair. Now I'm starting to regret even telling him my decision.

"Akim, you have to understand that..."

He interrupted me. "Did your mom tell you to do this?"

"No, she doesn't even know."

"Wow. So this really is your decision?"

"Yes."

Akim slowly got up from the table, then turned his back towards me. He looked towards the ceiling, and I remained seated.

"Babe, we can get through this. Everything will be fine."

He looked at me with tears in his eyes. "Why do you want to kill my baby?"

I couldn't believe his reaction. We both are still in college and have so many things we need to do before having a family.

"That's not..."

"It took you no time to make your mind up. You can kill my kid so easily with no regret."

"What made you so sure I would keep it?"

"Because we love each other, and you know I would never leave you hanging or abandon you, Lily."

"I know, but that's not a good reason to keep it."

He sat back down.

"Being parents is a lot of responsibility, but I know we can do it. I have the resources to be able to take care of you and our child. You can still finish school, I'll buy a bigger place and our baby will have free daycare."

"Akim, I don't want to be pregnant. I'm not ready to give birth."

He held my hands.

"I know you're scared, baby...but they have medication for pain and anything else you need."

I felt overwhelmed as my heart began to race.

"You having my baby is everything that I ever wanted. I love you, Lily. I want us to get married and have a family."

His words sparked something inside me. I pulled my hands away.

"So you really did get me pregnant on purpose."

"No..."

"You did!"

"Okay, what if I did?"

My eyes filled with tears. I shook my head.

"You're so fucking selfish, Akimitsu."

"Lily, listen...you're making this worse than it has to be."

He tried to hold me but I was upset.

"Don't touch me."

I got up from the table and grabbed my bag as Akim followed behind me. My hurt was inconsolable, I wanted to get far away.

"Petals, wait!"

"No Akim. I need some space...this is too much for me."

"Don't leave, okay. You're upset right now and need to calm down."

"I need some time. I need to go and think some more."

"What else is there to think about?"

I've had enough. "YOU DON'T GET IT!"

"Get what, Lily?"

"You don't have to carry a child. Deal with your body changing or risk dying while giving birth. I have all the risk, and you have none! None!"

"I understand that, baby."

"No you don't! If you did, you wouldn't be pressuring me to keep it."

I stormed toward the door.

"If you kill my baby, Lily...it's over between us."

His words shook my soul, and I felt my world crashing all around me. I love this man with every fiber of my being, and this same man was breaking my heart into pieces.

With no words, I turned towards my mate. I wiped my tears, held my head up high, and then walked out the door.

This hurts like hell, but it's my life, my body..... my choice.