The rookie Groupchat

Lucy Chen's "The Unfortunate Cooking Class"

L:I have a story that's equally embarrassing and hilarious, and it involves a cooking class gone horribly wrong.

T:This should be good.

A:I can't wait to hear this. Did you burn down a kitchen?

L:Not quite that dramatic, but close! So, last week, I thought I'd try my hand at cooking.Like, real cooking. You know, the kind that doesn't involve takeout menus or microwave meals.

J:I'm surprised you're even considering this, Lucy. What brought this on?

L:Nyla and I were watching this cooking show, and they made it look so easy. They said anyone could cook gourmet meals with just a few ingredients. I figured, "How hard can it be?"

N:I honestly thought you'd come out of it a culinary genius. I was rooting for you!

T:And yet, here we are. What happened next?

L:So I sign up for this cooking class, right? It's supposed to be a fun, casual evening. You know, chopping veggies, all that jazz. But then I get there, and it's all serious chef vibes.Like, they're expecting Michelin-star quality.

A:Uh-oh. Did you go in with your "I'm not intimidated" face on?

L:Absolutely! I'm like, "Yeah, I'm here to master the culinary arts." So, the instructor starts talking about knife skills, and I'm nodding like I know what I'm doing. But let me tell you, I've never held a chef's knife before in my life.

J:Did you actually try to chop something?

L:Oh, I did. And it was a disaster! I managed to slice my onion so unevenly that it looked like a toddler got to it first. But I'm trying to play it cool, like, "I meant to do that."

T:Were you the only one struggling?

L:No, the guy next to me was also having a meltdown over his garlic. He accidentally knocked over a whole bowl of it, and it went everywhere. There were garlic flakes flying like confetti.

A:Now that sounds like a scene straight out of a comedy.

L:Right? So, I finally get my onions semi-chopped, and we move on to the actual cooking. The dish we were supposed to make was a risotto.

N:Ah, the infamous risotto. Did you forget to stir?

L:You guessed it! The instructor kept saying, "Stir the risotto continuously." But I thought, "How hard can it be? I'll just stir it every now and then."

J:You, my friend, are a brave soul.

L:So, I walk away for a moment to grab some broth, and when I come back, it's like a science experiment gone wrong. The rice is sticking to the bottom of the pan, and it's starting to resemble glue.

T:Classic rookie mistake.

A:You should've just called it a "deconstructed risotto" and played it off like it was intentional.

L:Trust me, if only I had that level of confidence! So, I'm scrambling to salvage it, stirring like my life depends on it. And in the midst of this chaos, the instructor walks over to check on everyone.

J:Oh no. What did he say?

L:He looks right at my pot, and the look on his face was priceless.like he had just spotted a dead rat. He goes, "Uh... is everything okay here?"

N:And what did you say?

L:I tried to play it cool again, saying, "Absolutely! Just adding some extra love to my risotto."

T:Nice save Lucy.

L:But it was too late! The guy next to me chimes in, "More like adding some extra glue!" And suddenly, everyone is laughing.

A:Did they really roast you like that?

L:Oh, they did! At this point, I'm so flustered, I grab the wrong spice and dump it into my pot,only to realize too late that it's cinnamon instead of salt.

J:Cinnamon in risotto? What were you thinking?!

L:I wasn't! My brain was fried at this point! So, now I'm standing over this pot of creamy, gluey, cinnamon-infused disaster, and the whole class is practically in tears from laughing.

T:You've just created a new dish: Cinnamon Risotto, the disaster.

N:This needs to go on a menu somewhere. "Only for the brave."

L:By the end of the class, everyone was trying my risotto just for the comedy factor. The instructor was like, "Well, it's definitely unique!"

A:Did you at least get a participation certificate or something?

L:No participation certificates, but I did get a hefty dose of humility. The chef told me that cooking is about trial and error and that I should keep trying. He even suggested I take a few more classes.

T:At least you got some advice.

L:True! I walked out of there with my head held high... mostly because I had to keep laughing at myself. And now? I'm signing up for another class, and this time, I'm not holding back.

A:That's the spirit! Can't wait to hear about your next culinary adventure.

J:Just remember to bring a fire extinguisher... just in case.

J: Let me know when you will be asking that lesson.

J: Might as well inform Bailey in advance

N:And make sure to double-check your spices!

L:You all just wait! I'm going to master this cooking thing! Or at least create a new dish: "Cinnamon Glue Surprise."

T:I'd pay to see that.