John Nolan's 'profession' home makeover

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J:Alright, everyone, I've decided to take on a little weekend project. I'm renovating my living room!

A:Renovating? You? What are you even planning to do?

J:You know, just a few simple things, knock down a wall, maybe replace some flooring. I've been watching DIY videos for weeks. I've got this.

N:Nolan, you do realize that those DIY videos leave out all the parts where things go terribly wrong, right? You're about to find out firsthand.

L:Please tell me you're at least hiring someone to help. Knocking down a wall isn't exactly something you just... wing.

J:I'm not winging it. I've got a plan! I measured everything, I've got the tools, and I even rented one of those big sledgehammers. It's going to be fine.

T:A sledgehammer. Great. Can't wait to see how many injuries you end up with. Maybe you should just stick to painting a wall or rearranging furniture, Nolan.

C:I'm actually kind of excited for this. How bad could it be?

A:Oh, Celina. You sweet summer child. This is Nolan we're talking about. He's optimistic to a fault, and I'm guessing this will go south by lunchtime on day one.

N:You know what, Nolan? I'm placing a bet. You'll start out strong, feeling all confident, but by 3 PM, you'll be on the phone begging someone to fix the damage. How much do you want to bet?

J:There's not going to be any damage! Look, I've got the whole weekend. It's going to be perfect. I just need to do some stuff.


Hours later

J:Slight problem.

A:Called it.

N:What did I say? It hasn't even been a full day, has it?

L:What happened? How bad is it?

J:It's... not terrible. Just a small issue. When I knocked down the wall, I might have accidentally taken out some electrical wiring.

N: I thought you were smarter than this

A: So what now

A: Are you going to fix it yourself

J:No, no, I've already called an electrician. They said they'll be here tomorrow.

L:So, your "weekend project" is now a "week-and-then-some project." Got it.

C:Honestly, this sounds exactly like something I would do. Just a little chaos to keep things exciting.

T:Nolan, maybe DIY isn't your thing. Stick to paperwork and arresting criminals. Let the professionals handle the home renovation.

J:Yeah, yeah. Lesson learned. But I'm not giving up yet. Once the electrician fixes the wiring, I'll be back at it.


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