The Unfortunate Truth

Trying to Understand - 36

I take a deep breath as I stand in front of a giant light wooden door. A small plaque with the name, Dr. Hawkins written in all black in the center of said door.

I was a little bit nervous, I'll admit. And a little freaked out. I had to know whose side he was on. If he wasn't on mine, I needed to get out of here. It seems a lot different with the bad guys finding out I'm here, rather than someone on the inside telling them deliberately.

And I didn't want to be the cause of Brody finding some trust issues in the middle of his pack. I didn't want to be the cause of that at all.

After a few moments of composing myself, I finally manage to stop freaking out enough to knock on the door in front of me. I don't even wait more than a literal second before I hear his voice through the door.

"Come in Luna!"

Stupid werewolves, knowing who I am by my scent and whatever.

I ignore the slight fear I had course through me and open the door. I was actually surprised, his office was really basic. Wooden cabinets along one wall, a filing cabinet, black desk in the center of the room with a computer, lamp, keyboard and one picture frame sitting on the desk.

He had two pictures hanging on the wall behind him between the two windows, and two black chairs in front of his desk.

"Hi sir," I reply softly as I look at him sitting in his desk chair. I take in his white hair and white lab coat, smiling politely at him. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Dr. Hawkins laughs softly, the crinkles by his eyes moving up and down for a moment. He lightly adjusts the glasses he was wearing and waves a hand at me. "No, no, I wasn't doing anything. Please sit."

I see his outstretched hand pointing towards the chairs in front of his desks and I quickly move to sit there, not realizing that he moved to sit in the chair next to me as well.

Before I can even get a word out, his eyes roam over to where my wound was before on my arm. "I see that you've healed nicely. Your wolf did a good job keeping you healed, Luna."

My heart rate practically skyrockets a little bit. He just said it again, your wolf. Okay he knows about me being a werewolf, he really has to now. Otherwise he's just being weird. Along with this, my mind goes back and recalls what he said before to me. About how he knows his own kind.

He can't be a white wolf though, because I can sense him. And so could Roman. None of this makes any sense.

"My-My what?" I whisper.

"Luna," Dr. Hawkins chuckles and gives my arm a soft pat. "You don't have to act coy with me. I know who you are, there's no need to pretend."

Alright, if he's going to be outward and forthcoming with this then I won't feel bad if I get right down to asking him questions. Because I have a lot of questions.

"Dr. Hawkins, how on earth did you know? You're the only person that's met me that knew about me. And-And why don't you want to hurt me? Why are you okay with me, you know, existing? How could I sense you if you're who you say you are? I shouldn't be able to sense you and-"

"Luna," Dr. Hawkins interrupts me softly.

I jump a little bit and see a soft look on his face. I blush a little when I realized that I was rambling.

"I'm sorry," I apologize softly and turn my gaze downwards in embarrassment.

"Don't be," Dr. Hawkins replies. "You just have a lot of questions. Nothing to be ashamed for. Nothing at all. How I know, is because I can sense you, my dear. Our own kind can sense each other, I sort of mentioned that when I talked to you last."

Okay, there it is. He knew about me, but he hasn't said or done anything about it. And I need to know why. And I need to know what he meant by that. His own kind? Surely he can't be a white wolf.

"You can't be a white wolf," I mimic from my own thoughts. "Not only could I sense you, but so could my brother, Roman. Other wolves can't even sense us. It's part of our defensive tactics."

"Right you are, my dear, but you are quite undereducated about our kind. Which I don't blame you for. Your parents weren't exactly perfect for educating you on all of this."

"What does that-?"

All of a sudden Venus's voice breaks through my head. Clear as day. 'Danielle,' Venus mutters. 'I can smell him. I can sense him. He's a white wolf, I swear.'

I slowly shake my head as I lick my lips just trying to make sense of all of this. None of this makes any sense. "But-But-" I stutter out. I glance up at him in complete awe and shock, seeing a small smile on his face. No doubt he thought it was funny how I literally knew nothing.

"How on earth could I even sense you in the first place? Or Roman for that matter? That's so strange!"

Dr. Hawkins reaches out again and lightly taps my hand. His wrinkled hands lightly touch mine for a second before he pulls back and relaxes back in his seat. "There are a few reasons for that," Dr. Hawkins starts out. "First of all, white wolves can smell and sense each other. Did you know that?"

I stare in awe at him and give a small shake of my head. He chuckles a little bit and nods. "Well, it's true. We white wolves can sense each other. So we know who we are and can mark each other's presence. Also helping in a defense mechanism sort of way."

"That's incredible," I whisper in awe.

And it really was. And I didn't even know that was a thing. But to be fair, it's not like I always come into contact with white wolves. He's the first one I've legitimately even met before. All the other ones I've just heard about.

"As for why your brother could sense me, I'm able to make my wolf's presence known to others." He moves past my widened eyes and continues explaining. "Therefore, any hunters won't think of me as a threat, as they can sense me as well. Though they can't tell who I am. Not like you."

"So, you just make your wolf be sensed? How in the world- wait," I softly shake my head and stare at him in shock. "Why do you do that? If you get caught, then you'll be dead for sure!"

"It's a tossup my dear," Dr. Hawkins chuckles. "I guess I felt that having other wolves sense me was greater than being hidden in the shadows."

I nod softly as I weigh the options in my mind. I hadn't ever thought about letting people know I was a werewolf before. If I did, I feel like I'd be worried about people wanting me to run and then wondering why I don't want to.

On the other hand, the way I am now sucks. I have all these werewolf abilities and privileges, like quick healing and stuff like that. But I have to be really careful with who sees them and whatnot. Otherwise they'll find out about me.

Suddenly a thought enters my mind and I snap my head up to look at him.

"Wait, Dr. Hawkins, does Brody know?"

Dr. Hawkins' face drops into a soft frown and he gives a soft shake of his head. My heart drops a little and I bite my lip.

This must have been hard for him not to tell anyone for so many years. Especially if Brody is his alpha and he hadn't even told him.

"I'm sorry sir, then why did you tell me?" I whisper in question. "If you haven't even told your alpha, why did you tell me, someone who hasn't even been inducted as your Luna yet?"

He doesn't even hesitate as he starts explaining to me. "Because we are one in the same, dear. We are the same breed, we have the same genes. We have the same issues with hiding who we are. And I know you have trouble figuring all of this out on your own."

I start to pout a little but he quickly reassures me. "Which isn't your fault. It's not your fault who you grew up with. I'm just here hoping I can help you survive. I don't want another white wolf to be killed just because of who they are. Who we are," he clarifies. "I'm here to help you with every step along the way. If you'll let me."

"Of course!" I whisper quickly. "I feel like I can learn so much from you!"

"Good," Dr. Hawkins smiles at me. "I'm so glad you came to talk to me about this."

I feel a little blush rise to my cheeks and I shrug a little. "Sorry it took so long. A lot of stuff happened and then I sort of forgot but," I shake my head. "That doesn't matter. I'm happy I came to speak with you."

"Me too, me too. How about you come see me in a few days and we can discuss this some more?"

"I would love that," I beam at him.

Dr. Hawkins lightly pats my arm as he stands up, rounding to go to the other side of his desk. "You best be off now, it's almost six o clock."

I furrow my eyes a little bit at what he was insinuating, but then my eyes widened softly as they stare at him in wonder. "How did you..."

"I'm a white wolf," he chuckles. "There's not a lot that I don't know. Go see your mate."

"I will sir, thank you," I lightly bow my head and stand up. I go towards the door and stop, turning around and raising an eyebrow at him. "Sir, how come you never mentioned your mate? Did you ever meet her?"

"Oh yes," he smiles softly. And when I really look at him, I see it was a smile as if he were remembering something. Recalling an old memory perhaps. "Yes I have, but that's a story for another time."

"Right," I nod, "thank you, I'll see you soon." I lightly bow my head before I turn and exit the room, closing the wooden door behind me softly.

I start walking on my way to Brody's office, and I'll admit that I felt some guilt hit me as I took more and more steps. I hated keeping things from my mate. I absolutely hated it.

Obviously I do, I don't like lying to him. The whole me being a werewolf fiasco was enough to deal with for a lifetime. And I hated keeping that from him. So naturally, now that he knows about that, I hated keeping all things from him.

So, please tell me how I'm supposed to keep this from him as well?

"Dammit," I huff out.

~