The next hour was a blur, Alannah and Macca held Caitlin who was still crying while on the phone to Anna and grace who where equally upset. As much as Caitlin wanted to be with Katie she couldn't imagine what she would of been like if she had of seen Katie in the state she was in.
The medics kept Katie stable while an ambulance arrived, by this time the whole Ireland team new about what had happened and this broke Caitlin's heart even more, she knew Katie hated feeling weak and this would be her worst nightmare. She was taken to the hospital, Grace and Anna not leaving her side. Katie felt soulless, like she wasn't in her body just watching from afar. Alannah and Macca had helped caitlin book tickets to Georgia to be with katie, they weren't going to let caitlin go alone no matter what she said.
Mackenzie and Alannah spoke to their coach for Caitlin as she wasn't in the right mindset. They left soon after on the first flight to Georgia. The 3 arrived late that night, Caitlin had stopped crying but only because she ran out of tears. They met grace and Anna out the front of the hospital, the 5 girls just gave each other a hug without exchanging any words. Caitlin went in alone, Anna and grace said Katie was awake but not talking.
Caitlin walked in to the room and froze at the door, she almost turned around unsure of what to do before Katie spoke "I'm sorry" Katie said in a weak groggy voice. Caitlin almost sprinted over to Katie and held her tight. "No baby, no don't say that, you don't have to be sorry" Caitlin spoke "I shouldn't of pushed you to talk, I should've just ...I don't know. I'm just so sorry, that you were so.. and I couldn't be there". Caitlin said now crying. "Cait you were there, Thank you for telling Grace and Anna, I'm sorry I didn't myself". Caitlin didn't reply just held Katie tight as both girls feel asleep in each others arms.
The other girls walked in around 30 mins later waking both girls up, "Hey Katie" Macca and Alannah said, Katie just smiled softly. No one else spoke that night, they all slept in Katie's hospital room.
The next day Katie was able to leave, no one had spoken about the day before, all of them quite shaken up. Katie couldn't help but feel guilty. They arrived back at the Ireland camp they were able to get Macca and Alannah a hotel room for a few nights before they all went back to London. As Katie and Caitlin were getting ready to go to bed that night Katie spoke, "I don't want you to blame yourself", Caitlin sat beside Katie on the bed, " I should've noticed" Caitlin said as she let out a shaky breath. "Cait you did notice". Caitlin didn't reply just rested her head on Katie's shoulder. Katie knew she had to tell Caitlin everything.
"When I was younger I hated having so many siblings, I felt like I was always crowded and sharing something with someone else. So when I signed for Arsenal and moved to London I couldn't wait to live by myself with my own space, that was until I got there. I felt alone, which is something I never thought I would say, I wanted to go home, My sister wouldn't let me, she told me to wait until Christmas and if I still hated it I could go home. I didn't tell anyone in the team I was struggling, I guess I didn't want to seem weak. I started Self-harming one night after training. I was alone and stuck with my own thoughts. I started feeling numb. Cutting was the only thing I could feel".
Caitlin was silently crying while Katie stayed with a straight face.
" It didn't last long, like my sister said Christmas came around and I was loving arsenal, you also came around" Katie said while wrapping her arm around Caitlin and resting her head on Caitlin's . "I was almost 3 years clean. The day after the Conti-Cup win I went home to a very angry Ruesha, she had been texting me all night but I was drunk and not even looking at my phone, I was having fun. I stayed at yours and Jordan's house that night after being to drunk to even walk. Ruesha was mad I didn't come home, started saying some things about me and I guess they just started to get to me. I started to Self-harm again that night. I went downhill from there. I was cutting my wrist nearly every chance I got, weather I was at home, at training, it just came a habit when I felt I wasn't enough. Rue and I broke up soon after and she immediately started to comment on my body, I know it shouldn't of bothered me but I was already at my lowest so it didn't take much to knock me around. It started with only restricting my eating, I became obsessed with the number on the scale, than I just stopped eating all together. That day that you walked into the changing rooms I was planning on ending it when I got home. I was waiting for everyone to leave before I got changed like I always did, but than you walked in because you forgot your keys, you saw all my scars but you didn't say anything, it was the first time in a long time I didn't feel ashamed of my body or my scars. That night was the first night I didn't Self - harm in 3 months, I don't know why, I just didn't. We became closer over the next few months and my self-harm became less frequent. I don't know when but one day I just stopped, I wasn't thinking about my body or my scars, you were all that was on my mind. I hadn't done anything our whole relationship because of you, I never once felt judged or alone, I felt loved. I'm sorry I didn't show that, but I don't want you to think that this was because of you, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here. I walked back into my room yesterday day with my lunch in my hands, I saw you sitting waiting for me. I could tell you had be crying, I felt so guilty for shutting you out, and just freaked. I'm sorry I didn't tell you how bad I was, and I promise from now I'm going to, I'm going to open up whenever I feel like I'm spiralling, I love you Caitlin..so so much". Katie finished
Caitlin didn't know what to say, as tears still fell down her cheeks she looked up to Katie who was also crying now and hugged her tight. "I'm so proud of you Kates, I can't imagine how hard it was for you to open up, I promise you that I will always be here, I'm going to help you get back on track. Please never feel guilty for worrying me, I'm always going to feel worried about you, just like you were worried about me when you saw I had been crying. I love you so much Kates you have no idea". Caitlin finished by kissing Katie slowly on the lips.
Both girls finally had a good night sleep that night wrapped in each others arms. The next few days all the girls spent together, before they left to head back to London. Katie obviously didn't magically get better but having Caitlin with her was a start. When they got back to England Katie organised a meeting with all of arsenals coaches and told them how she was feeling, she also told Kim little and Leah Williamson. She finally felt like she could open up without feeling weak.
A/N ahhh. I finally fished, sorry for making it so long I just had so many ideas. Please drop some ideas in the comments and I'll get them out as quick as I can. I Hope you all enjoyed x
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McFoord One-Shots
FanfictionMcfoord stories ,all made up. Feel free to send through your ideas and I'll try to get them out x
