McFoord One-Shots

-Let me help you-

Katie always struggled coming to terms with her emotions, she hated opening up to people, she always had ever since she was little, instead she pushes them deep down, until she explodes with anger and lashes out on the wrong people.

The day after Katie and Caitlin returned to London after Ireland failed to qualify for the euros, they had training, "Kates are you sure your right to come, a day off might do you some good" caitlin said as she watched Katie get ready. Katie had lost her spark, her usually cheesy grin was replaced with a empty frown, her sparkle in her eyes was gone, and she looked mentally exhausted, "We have a game in 3 days, I have to" Katie said as she stood up leaving the room, caitlin followed, "yeh I know, but I'm sure Renae wouldn't mind if you missed a game, your mental health is way more important, everyone needs a break every now and than" Caitlin said smiling as she walked up behind Katie and wrapped her arms around her waist while resting her chin on Katie's shoulder. Katie turned to face her before placing a kiss on her nose and getting out of her grip, "I'm fine cait, I'm over it" Katie said as she forced a smile that only made caitlin frown, "You know it's okay to be upset, you really wanted it, and it's heartbreaking, know one is expecting you to go in today" caitlin said as she watched Katie grab her keys and head for the door, "JESUS, I said I was fine" Katie yelled as she slammed the door behind her making caitlin jump. Caitlin took a deep shakey breath as her worry for Katie grew, she then walked outside to see Katie in the car waiting.

The car ride to the training centre was awkward, neither girl saying anything, when they arrived Caitlin turned to Katie, "I get your working through your emotions or whatever, but it really hurts that you can yell at me that easy, I was only trying to help" Caitlin said before getting out and walking inside alone, Katie sat in the car holding back tears, as she thought about how terrible her last 48 hours have been, she didn't mean to take it out on Caitlin, it just happened.

As Caitlin walked in she stopped outside the chill room, she took a deep breath, blinking back her tears that threatened to fall, before slowly walking in, Steph and Beth saw her first giving her a confused look before going up to her, "You okay?" Steph asked noticing how drained Caitlin looked, "yeh, all good, just tired" Caitlin replied smiling, "how's Katie, I'm not surprised she isn't in today, poor thing" Beth said to Caitlin who's tears started to fill her eyes again, Caitlin looked up to stop the tears from falling, "um, she's actually come in, she's just in the car" Caitlin replied walking past the two to leave the conversation, Beth and Steph followed, "Shouldn't she be taking a break, I bet she's exhausted" Steph said sitting beside Caitlin who was now putting on her boots, Caitlin sighed, "I wouldn't recommend telling her that" she said sarcastically as she stood up and walked away, Beth and Steph just looked at each other confused.

Soon after Katie walked in, everyone except Caitlin turned there heads to see her, katie was unrecognisable, her eyes puffy, she kept her head down and slowly walked in, everyone gave her space, knowing what Katie's like. When training began and the warm ups were about to start Katie slowly walked over to her usual spot in line, right behind Caitlin. The rest of the line couldn't help but notice the tension between the two who didn't say a word to each other. When warm ups finished up Renae picked everyone's partners, she put Katie and Caitlin together thinking it might make Katie a little more comfortable, unaware it did the complete opposite. Caitlin went and grabbed the ball, Katie followed slowly behind, "Im sorry" katie said quietly as they began the drill, Caitlin didn't reply, this wasn't the first time katie had lashed out on her like that. Katie had tears in her eyes, as they continued the drill her vision became blurry and  she could no longer hold them back, Katie ran inside with her head down, not wanting anyone to see, all the girls noticed and looked to Caitlin who sighed before slowly following Katie. Renae stopped Caitlin, "take her home, I don't care what she says, she doesn't need to be here today" Renae said smiling as she patted Caitlins back. Caitlin again sighed thinking about the conversation she was about to have with Katie.

By the time Katie got inside her tears were falling out of control, her vision was so blurry she didn't see the figure infront of her as she ran straight into viv who had come to training to surprise Beth. Katie looked up at the firgure still unsure who it was until it spoke, "Kay" viv said quietly as she held Katie close, Katie immediately recognised vivs nick name for her and fell into her touch, viv held her close before noticing Caitlin walking in, "Viv what are you doing here" Caitlin said smiling, viv looked at Caitlin confused as to why she wasn't more concerned for her girlfriend who was still crying in vivs arms, "I uh, came to surprise beth" viv said as she rubbed Katie's back, caitlin sighed, "Kates, Renae told me to take you home, I'm getting your stuff" caitlin said bluntly before looking up to viv, "would you mind walking her to the car while I grab her stuff" Caitlin said as viv nodded before walking away. When viv and Katie started the walk to the car Katie cried even more, "Viv..I..I need to train" Katie said trying to calm herself down, "Kates, your not okay, your allowed to take a break" viv said not letting Katie stop, "Why does everyone keep saying that to Me" Katie said to herself angrily, "Because it's true, and breaks are important" viv said as she got to Katie's car and put her in the passenger seat, before she shut the door viv placed her hand on Katie's knee, "Now what's going on between you and caitlin" she said looking Katie in her eyes, "We are fine, she's just angry that I yelled at her" Katie said quietly, "why did you yell at her kay" viv said in a comforting tone as she watched Caitlin start to walk to the car, "She wouldn't leave me alone, even when I told her I was fine" Katie said as she noticed Caitlin approaching the car. Caitlin chucked the bags in the boot, "Thanks viv, I'll see you around yeh" caitlin said as viv said her goodbyes to Katie, "Will do cait, look after her okay" viv said to caitlin who just looked down and got in the car, viv sighed as she watched the two drive away.

The car ride again was silent until they arrived home, as Caitlin went to get out of the car Katie spoke, "Aren't you going back to training" Katie said getting out as she watched Caitlin grab the bags from the back, "No, I'm not" Caitlin replied walking inside followed by Katie, Caitlin put the bags on the bench and went to have a shower, Katie sat on the couch, feeling  guilty for making Caitlin miss training. When Caitlin came out of the shower she walking into the kitchen, "what do you want for lunch" she spoke quietly looking at Katie who shook her head, "I'm not hungry, thanks though" Katie replied going back to watching tv, Caitlin sighed, "you haven't eaten anything today Katie" Caitlin said sternly making Katie turn her head, she couldn't help but notice Caitlin didn't call her by her nick name "kates". "I'm not hungry" Katie said again starting to get angry as she was upset that they were fighting and didn't know how to express it. Caitlin just shook her head before starting to make them both some lunch. When she finished Caitlin plated up the food and walked a plate over to Katie, placing it in front of her, "eat it" she said before walking back over to the dinning table to eat alone, Katie smiled noticing Caitlin made her favourite meal, she then stood up and walked over to Caitlin, sitting down next to her without her food, Caitlin just looked at her confused, "What are you doing, please just eat your food" Caitlin sighed exhausted, as she was so worried about Katie, "I want to be around you" Katie said quietly looking down, Caitlin sighed knowing Katie is really struggling and needs her, "Come on then" Caitlin said as she stood up, grabbing her plate before holding out her other hand and walking them both over to the lounge room where Katie's plate was. Caitlin sat down followed by katie. Caitlin watched as Katie just looked at her food, "Just a little bit, please" Caitlin said looking at Katie placing down her food, "here I'll feed you" Caitlin said winking making Katie smile and laugh before she took Katie's plate and laughed as she started to feed her, Caitlin put Katie's plate back down before sitting back in the couch, Katie turned to face her, "Thankyou, for being here, with me" Katie said quietly, "Always Kates, I'm always here, it hurts me that you can't open up to me, I want to be there for you, comfort you when your upset and struggling, I can't don't that when you shut me out and push your feelings down, i really worry about you" Caitlin said as her eyes became glassy, Katie put her head down before taking a deep breath in, "I let my team down, my country, my family, you, everyone, I let everyone down, all I wanted was to get there, make it to that tournament, 4 years ago I would've laughed at the thought of Ireland having a chance of getting to the euros, and now I had it and completely blew it, and the media's smashing me for it, and I know I deserve it, everything there saying is true, but it still hurts, I just wish I wasn't the captain, I don't deserve it, I was young, I had no idea what I was doing, I hate the way I play, I hate the way I am on the pitch, I...I hate football, I don't...I don't think I can do it anymore, it's breaking me, and making me hurt you" Katie said as she cried, Caitlin's heart broke listening to it, she pulled Katie into her chest and held her close, "Katie, you didn't let anyone down, you and your whole team went out there and tried your hardest, you all left everything out there on the pitch, it just wasn't meant to be, Kates, but you can't listen to the media, none.. and I mean NONE of it is true, your brought your little country all the way to a World Cup, just like you said, 4 years ago the thought of major tournaments was only dreams, You made those dreams a reality Katie, this is one set back. Kates the way you play with so much passion, and power, I wish I was more like you, every training I go out there watching you, how you play, I wish I was as strong and confident on the ball as you, Katie you were made to be a captain, not everyone can talk infront of a team so confidently like you do, I certainly can't, I look up to you and I couldn't be prouder to call you my girlfriend, I'm not letting you quit something you love because of this, your going to come back stronger than ever, just now, opening up to me was the first Step, now I can help get you though this, get you back to being the cocky Katie we all love" Caitlin said as she kissed the top of Katie's head, Katie just cried as she looked up to Caitlin, "Thankyou, I'm so sorry I yelled at you, I just, I push my emotions down until I explode and lash out on someone, I hate that I did it, I'm going to try and talk to you more, open up so I don't hurt you" Katie said as Caitlin smiled and wiped her tears, "I love you so much Kates" Caitlin said making Katie smile hearing her nick name, "I love you too" Katie said as she snuggled up to Caitlin who wrapped one arm around Katie while using the other to spoon feed her girlfriend. "Your annoying" Katie said in between the bites that Caitlin was shoving in her mouth, "you love it" Caitlin replied smiling as she shoved another spoonful of food into Katie's mouth.

The two spent the rest of the night watching movies and having a break, Katie ended up going into training the next day but only for light recovery, although she had a better mindset, she wanted to come back stronger just like Caitlin said, she wasn't doing it to please the press, she was doing it for herself.