"Ashleigh?" I heard my mum as she knocked on the door "forget it. I don't want to talk to you right now" I called out to her "please. I just want to talk" she said and after a while I gave in.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you like that. I just worry about you. That's all" she said "I know you don't like Connor or his family" I said "Ashleigh" mum sighed "why? Connor is my best friend and his family have always be here for me and I know they always will!" I asked "I don't like his family because they took my baby girl from me! You were always with them" she said "oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I was the one who forced me to live with dad. I needed a mum and kelly was there for me! Don't try to blame me! I lived with that prick of a dad for 9 years! You don't think I wanted to be with you? I needed you but you pushed me away with dad" I yelled "when did you need me?" She asked bitterly "when I started pre school! When we did our school concerts in primary school, when lady things started! I needed you! I still do need you! I'm 18 and pregnant for fucks sack. I'm still learning so much and I can't do it alone!" I started off yelling but my voice got softer towards the end "Ashleigh. I'm so sorry. I want to be here with you but I can't. You have no idea how much time I want to spend with you but I don't even know if I'll wake up in the morning" she said almost in tears "I know how you feel" I quietly said "how do you know what it feels like to not know if you'll wake up?" She asked and I knew what I was about to say would either make us closer or destroy our relationship all together!
"Well? Ashleigh?" She asked again "I've tried to kill myself several times. I cut. I've taken pills. There was even one time where I drank so I wouldn't remember how fucked up life is! The amount of times I've wondered if I would wake up or not are countless!" I told her "are you serious?" She asked shocked "Yeh. I've taken pills twice and both times I was like 'finally I can leave this shitty place' but after id taken them I'd be so scared that I wouldn't wake up and that I never got to say goodbye to the people I love properly. Of course someone found me both times and took me to hospital! I've been to hospital countless times wether I was getting my stomach pumped or being diagnosed with suicidal thoughts. Or even just because everyone thought I was mental so they took me to a mental institution" I said almost in tears "Ashleigh. I love you so much! How long have you felt this way?" Mum cried "most of my life but I only started doing things to myself when I was 13 and I ran away that one day because you made me leave Connor in Scotland" I said "I love you Ashleigh! Please stop. No mother wants to hear that their daughter has tried to kill themselves. I honestly didn't know Connor meant that much to you that you got really sad when I tore you two apart" she said "he means the absolute world to me mum! He's the reason that I'm not dead! And I'm not kidding. He does this thing where he kisses some of my old scars and tells me I'm still the most beautiful girl he's ever laid eyes on. Considering there are girls 100x prettier then me who don't have scars and don't have stretch marks and he still loves me gives me the motivation to keep living" I told her "I'm so glad he makes you happy. Just a heads up though there's a ton of cute, single and young guys who work at the hospital I'm at" she winked "mum" I said offended "I'm saying just in case it doesn't work between you can Connor" she said "how about I get one of them to deliver mine and Connors children then, okay?" I asked sarcastically with a tad of bitterness in there "I'm sorry darling but I don't think you'll last" "why not? We've been best friends for 14 years mum!" I pointed out "you're too young. He may have saved your life numerous times and you both may love each other but his career is only just starting and you're having twins. He's gonna be away, you're gonna be stuck with the children and it'll all go down from there!" She said "please get out of my room. I want to be alone at the moment" I felt so offended right now!
*
"Connor?" I mumbled as my bedroom door opened "hey ash. Did I wake you darling?" He shut the door and walked over to the bed "don't worry about it. You have no idea how glad I am to see you though" I sat up a little bit as he put on some pj pants and took his shirt off "why? What's wrong?" He got into bed "everyone was saying we're not gonna last and that we're fucking stupid for having the twins" I said sleepily "aw darling. I love you and would love to hear you talk for hours on end but you seem very tired my dear. How about we talk in the morning?" he asked as I laid my head on his chest "goodnight Connor" I cuddled up to him like he was my tent bear.
"I love you Boo" I said after a few minutes of silence "I love you more Princess" he kissed my forehead and I felt myself slowly drift off to sleep.
As long as I know Connor loves me I don't care what anyone has to say about us. I know he loves me and I love him and that's all that matters!!
DU LIEST GERADE
Bradley's Little Sister ((Connor Ball The Vamps Fan Fiction))
Fanfiction{PART 1 IS COMPLETE AND PART 2 HAS KICKED OFF BEING ADDED TO THIS BOOK SO YOU DONT HAVE TO GO SEARCHING FOR IT} Life sucks. It's come to a point where pain is a normal feeling for me and that actually feeling happy is very rare. My best friend, Con...
