Coming Out - An Emon Fanfic

Chapter 27 - Giving Up

Simon got into his car and turned it on, waiting for Ethan who was staring out onto the road Josh and Vikk had driven down. The two people that had supported them were gone. They had given up on Ethan and Simon.

Ethan got into the car and Simon drove off, leaving the Sidemen house. The two were silent for a while, until Simon started speeding.

"Simon, what are you doing?" Ethan yelled as the engine roared. Simon stayed silent as he sped down the motorway. The car skidded slightly as Simon kept changing lanes, causing other cars to beep or swerve. "Simon stop!" Ethan screamed as they finally got off the motorway.

The car came to a sudden halt when they reached a line of cars in front of them at a red traffic light. Ethan's seatbelt held him in position when he was about to lurch forward. "Simon what the fuck are you doing?" Ethan yelled. Simon stayed silent and the car sped forward again as the traffic light turned green.

"Simon stop! Let's talk about this, please! You're going to kill us! You can talk to me, let it all out but just not like this!"

Simon's expression softened and he slowed down the car. They turned into a side street Ethan didn't recognise. Simon parked the car and sat back in his seat, looking up at the sky out of the windshield. He stayed silent for a while and Ethan watched him as he melted into quiet tears.

"We've lost everything." Simon whispered, "I... I've lost everything... My friends, my home, my fans, I've lost you."

"Simon, you never lost me. I'm right here." Ethan said as he got hold of Simon's hand.

Simon pulled his hand out of Ethan's grip and faced him. "I lost you a long time ago. I lost you when it happened, that stupid incident. When you decided to cut yourself because of me!" He said loudly.

Ethan shrunk back into his seat. Simon would never forget what happened, no one would. Everyone would remember - Ethan self harmed. Whenever his parents or Simon looked at him he never felt their eyes on his face, instead their eyes were on his arm, even when it was covered.

"I'll never get you back, we can never go back to the way it was before!" Simon yelled, pulling Ethan out of his thoughts.

"Simon... I've tried so hard to move on, but you just can't leave it can you?" He quietly said. He looked up at Simon. "Every time I look at you, all I see is guilt and shame. Simon, you're not guilty of what happened anymore. You're guilty because... You're guilty because you dated me, because you fell in love with me. You feel guilty because... You're gay." Ethan cried.

"Yes! Yes, I regret being gay. I regret falling in love with you. I regret dating you! I regret everything I ever had to do with you!" Simon yelled. He had tears in his eyes and he was bright red from anger.

Ethan fell silent and stared at Simon who looked away. "If our relationship is such a big problem, then give it up." Ethan said quietly. Simon looked back up at him with a hurt expression.

Ethan fell silent for a while before he spoke again, his voice breaking and dread in his eyes. "You've lost JJ, Vikk, Josh. Your friends left you because of me. I'm sorry. I've ruined your life, I made you hate yourself. I put this huge block on your life." Ethan looked into Simon's eyes. "I'm sure you won't be hurt if another person leaves you, especially when it's the person who caused all this... Goodbye Simon"

A/N - PLEASE READ

I am so very sorry for what has just happened, the feels and tears are too much.

Now, this is the part where I will be giving you guys some pretty bad news... I'm not continuing this book...

Naaa I'm joking lol. BUT,  unfortunately I won't be uploading for a while... This is because I'm going on holiday back to freshie land where internet is an endangered species. I don't know how long I won't be uploading for but as soon as I get wifi I will upload, I'm going for 6 weeks but I will definitely have internet at one point.

I'm on the plane right now and I'm pretty scared so wish me luck and pray for me!

Also, a huge shoutout to @Sky_GrayXIX for helping me out with deciding what to do with Harry and @lucylue101 for giving me an amazing offer that actually made me cry. You guys are amazing!!! Also, thank you so much for 4K reads and all the support and love! You guys have been such a bright space in my life!

Good luck dealing with the cliff hanger!

Love you guys! ❤️