Coming Out - An Emon Fanfic

Chapter 17 - The Video

WARNING - SELF HARM

"And yeah, this has been your boy KSIOlajideBT and peace." Simon paused the video and looked at Ethan who was looking down at the floor. "Ethan... What do we do?" Ethan didn't reply. Simon looked at the title of the video - My Friends Fuck Each Other.

"Everyone knows... Everyone's against us." Ethan quietly said as he teared up. Simon pushed his chair closer to Ethan's and leaned in to hug him. Ethan hugged back, crying. "Simon, everyone hates us. JJ ruined everything." Simon gripped onto Ethan tighter as he started comforting him. "No, we're going to speak to him, ok? We're going to fix this."

Ethan pulled away from Simon. "Yeah, remember what happened last time we tried to fix it? Simon, I'm done. The whole world finds our relationship wrong. And now this video has probably destroyed our fanbase and career... It will destroy our relationship as well."

Simon shook his head as Ethan continued, he clenched his fists as his voice broke and looked at Simon in the eyes. "Simon... Maybe we should end our relationship..."

Simon opened his eyes in shock as he grabbed onto Ethan's hands. "No! No, we're not. Ethan we're going to fix this. I promise. Please don't leave me. Ple-"

"Simon it's for the best. All the time, there's something wrong with us. With me being with you. It's just not going to work out."

"So what you're just going to leave me? Because of what everyone thinks? Do I really come after everyone else?" Simon yelled as he let go of Ethan's hand and stood up.

"No Simon. I love you. But we ca-"

"No Ethan. I get it." Simon quietly said as he walked out of the room.

Ethan furiously wiped away his tears as he looked at the computer screen and started the video.

JJ calmly said, "my friends fuck each other," and the booming sound came in. "Yeah. My friends fuck each other." He laughed. "Now, it's not all of them. Just two. Ethan and Simon. Yep, Emon is real." Ethan dug his nails into his skin as JJ continued. "But this isn't normal, I mean this relationship is beyond fucked up. They must've fucked each other a couple of times and what I don't understand is how the fuck they do it. I mean, one minute they're friends and the next they're banging. Do they like, use a fake vagina or something or?" JJ burst out laughing. "The only thing they can do is bum each other an-"

Ethan paused the video and buried his head into his arms. He thought for a while. About how JJ was ruining his relationship with Simon. How he was ruining his life. He looked up again and with trembling fingers scrolled down to the comments section.

The hate was everywhere. His phone vibrated as the mentions and tweets came rolling in, drowning him in hate. Ethan got up, crying as the comments rushed through his head. "You're not worth Simon. You're a fag. What kind of fucked up person are you?"

Ethan ran into the bathroom, weak and dizzy from all the thoughts. He didn't want to live anymore. He wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth anything or anyone. Everything about him was wrong. Everything.

He breathed heavily, his eyes blurry from tears as he reached into a cupboard and pulled out a razor. Panicking, he cut through his skin, and all of a sudden he felt calm. The stinging worked like a drug, removing all the pain. He made another cut, silent tears falling onto his bloody wrists. His breathing slowed as he felt calmer. Peace had taken over him. He continued to cut, moving down his arm.

"Ethan?" Ethan stopped and turned around. Simon was standing in the doorway, tears in his eyes.

A/N
Hey guys, this was a pretty hard chapter to write and I feel horrible for making Ethan do this. What I'm about to say is my personal opinion and I'm sorry if what I say is wrong or hurts you but I'm pretty scared that by writing what I wrote I might trigger people to do it or hurt them. Please don't. Self harming destroys more then kills. It really is like a drug. The reason why people feel better after doing it is because it releases a hormone in the brain that makes you feel good. This isn't natural.

And if you're already self harming then please try to stop. I know it's really hard but after a while you will feel better. There are so many ways of stopping. No matter what the reason is for why you're doing it - it isn't good enough to make you want to value your life less. Nothing is.

And if you ever need someone to talk to I will be happy to help, please don't keep it it. Tell someone, it may be horrible at first but I promise everything will be so much better soon.

Love you guys.