Coming Out - An Emon Fanfic

Chapter 43 - Head vs Heart

Ethan's breathing shivered as he continued watching the video, tears flowing down his face. His sight was blurry and his mind was fuzzy. JJ apologised, Simon apologised, everyone knew, everyone knew who Ethan was. Everyone knew he was gay.

He shut his eyes tight as memories of his relationship with Simon flashed past. Once upon a time, Ethan was happy. He was happy with Simon. He loved him. And Simon loved him. They would smile and laugh together, and be there for each other when the whole world was against them. When did they become so weak? Why did they become so weak? They lost everything that day, the day that Ethan walked and Simon didn't give a second glance. Why did everything go wrong?

It was JJ. JJ and the whole world. But now JJ apologised, and Simon looked near to death. Ethan buried his head into his arms as his heart ached. Pain seared through his mind as he realised what he was thinking and feeling - he wanted Simon back, and deep down inside; he still loved Simon.

Ethan pulled on his hair and bit on his lip, trying hard not to scream. What was wrong with him? He was happy wasn't he? He was happy with Katie. So why was Simon constantly running through his head and constantly hurting his heart? He couldn't like Simon again, he couldn't. It would only result in pain. But his heart told him that Katie wasn't right, that Simon was the only one that could fix Ethan's broken heart. But he had a broken heart because of Simon, he was destroyed because of Simon.

Ethan shook his head violently and stood up, grabbing his jacket and keys. He had to clear his mind, he had to think straight, he was suffocating from all the thoughts and feelings. He briefly wiped his tears and walked out of the apartment, ignoring Katie who noticed Ethan's tear stained face.

There was a loud slam as Ethan closed the main door and walked down the corridor, putting his head down as he passed a few neighbours on the way down to go outside. As he left the building, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, the air instantly refreshing him. He wiped his tears and looked around before deciding where to go.

Ethan sat on the swings, staring down at his lap as he rocked back and forth slightly. He still loved Simon, but he couldn't leave Katie. She was a good person, a saviour, rescuing Ethan when he was weak and fragile. She didn't deserve being upset, she deserved all the happiness in the world. But that was something Ethan couldn't give. He was depressed, fake, confused. He didn't know whether to follow his head or his heart. Katie or Simon.

He looked around, smiling slightly as he remembered being with Simon in the same park. Ethan promised Simon he would stay with him. It was a broken promise. But what if it could be fixed? What if Ethan could go back and figure everything out? Simon wanted him back, JJ wanted him back, all of them wanted him back.

Ethan sighed as stood up. Everything was becoming huge, everyone knew, and it was only a matter of time before Katie found out too. He had to explain himself, and try to fix things. Katie didn't deserve to be deserted or broken, and Ethan had to make sure she wouldn't be.

A/N
Ooohhh, maybe happy days are coming? Maybe the story will take a turn for the worst? Who knows!

Thank you for staying by me while I've been a complete let down. I love you guys. And thank you for 14K, it means a lot to know you guys are still supporting me after such a long break. I'm really sorry. Love you x