Coming Out - An Emon Fanfic

Chapter 33 - Regret

Simon opened the door and ran over to JJ, pulling him into a tight hug. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry JJ." He cried, closing his eyes as he tightened his grip on JJ. He kept on repeatedly apologising, sobbing as he did. JJ slowly put his hands on Simon, accepting the hug. Simon cried into his shoulder for a while and JJ let him, silently holding him as Simon let all the tears out.

Soon, they let go of each other and Simon stopped crying. JJ remained silent, averting his gaze from Simon and looking around. "I'm sorry JJ." Simon whimpered while sniffing. JJ finally looked at Simon and gave a small nod, he didn't know how to deal with these types of situations.

"I've lost everything." Simon whispered. JJ watched Simon look down in shame and quietly speak. "I've lost my friends, my home, my... My partner." JJ noticed how Simon said partner instead of boyfriend. He was still afraid of what JJ thought about him and Ethan. "But first I lost you." Simon said as he looked at JJ properly. "I realised I lost you the day you drugged Ethan."

JJ looked at Simon in shock. They both knew what happened but it happened such a long time ago, he thought Simon would have forgotten about it. "The fact that you could do that to a friend, as a joke or not, is unbelievable. We all know how outgoing and ridiculous you can be, but drugs? I should've been more angry. I should've shouted at you and made you apologise to Ethan, but no. I forgave you. I let you off because you were my best friend. Because no matter what I trusted you and always thought we would be able to rely on each other. But that wasn't the case." Simon said, regret and disappointment in his eyes.

JJ looked down, he knew what he did was wrong, he had come to accept that. He shouldn't have drugged Ethan, even if it was for fun. It was a silly mistake. He looked back up at Simon who continued talking.

"JJ, we fought so bad because you didn't accept me. You didn't accept Ethan. You didn't accept us. You didn't accept us because we were gay. But now there is no me and Ethan. We're over. And Ethan..." Simon started breaking into tears again. "Ethan has a girlfriend."

The words hit JJ hard, he couldn't help but feel guilty. He stayed silent and looked at Simon with regret in his eyes. He felt confused. What happened? What broke them two apart? Was it just because of him? He couldn't find any words, any thoughts, any way of comforting Simon. It was all because of him. Everything was because of JJ. He watched Simon recover from crying and wipe his tears.

"JJ, the reason why I'm here. It's because I want to tell you about my relationship with Ethan. I want to tell you how we started it, how we went through it, and how we ended it. I just want to talk and I want you to listen. That's something we haven't done in a while. All we've done is argue and fight. But I'm tired of fighting. I'm exhausted JJ. I just want everything to go back to normal. I want to end things. And to do that we need to know what happened. We need to hear both of our sides of the story. I want you to hear everything."