Coming Out - An Emon Fanfic

Chapter 45 - Letting Go

Katie stood on the balcony, leaning on the edge, looking out; across London. She closed her eyes as the wind brushed past her, soothing her headache. Her face was tear stained and she felt weak. She opened her eyes and looked behind her into the flat. Ethan was sat on the bed, his head in his arms. He was shaking, as if he was crying. And he was crying, they both were.

Katie knew everything, from the party to the present day; and she was horribly stuck. It was clear Ethan still had something for Simon, no matter how much he denied it. He had been forcing himself to forget Simon, but how could he? He and Simon had something special, something precious. They had love, and that was something Ethan and Katie didn't have.

Katie looked out at the city as more tears fell down her face. She closed her eyes and tightly closed her lips, muffling her sobs. She loved Ethan, but he never loved her. It was all fake.

She looked down in shame as she cried. She was nothing, she meant nothing. But Ethan meant everything. How did any of this happen? How was she so blind? Everything, all the little gestures and big surprises, they were all fake. Ethan needed a distraction, and Katie was the distraction. How could she not have known? She truly loved him, but all the love he showed was fake. It was all an act.

Ethan was acting for a reason, he wanted to put the past behind him. He wanted a new life. But he couldn't act the rest of his life. He couldn't pretend to be someone he wasn't. He had to confront his past, he had to confront himself - he had to confront Simon.

She cried even more as she realised what she had to do. Ethan wasn't happy with her, but he would be happy with Simon. He had to be with Simon, and it was her job to make that happen. She had to lead Ethan to Simon - she had to let Ethan go.

Katie wiped away her tears, breathing deeply before turning around and going back into the flat. She looked down at Ethan who was slouched on the bed, holding his head in his arms. "Ethan." She quietly said, her voice croaky. Ethan looked up, his eyes and nose red and his face wet from tears.

She sat down on the bed next to Ethan and pulled him into a hug. They held onto each other tightly, crying. They knew what was going to happen. Ethan knew Katie too well, he knew she would give up her happiness for him.

"Don't. Please." Ethan cried into Katie's hair, weak from the battle he was fighting. "Ethan, no matter how much you try to forget, no matter how much you pretend, he's there. He always was, in your heart." Katie replied, moving away from the hug. She stroked Ethan's cheek with her hand, letting her tears flow as she dried Ethan's.

"You know. Don't you?" She whispered, looking into Ethan's eyes. "You can't pretend in front of me Ethan." She said, getting a hold of Ethan's hand. Ethan looked down at their hands, intertwined. He looked back up at Katie. He knew he was fighting a losing battle. He did love Simon, and Katie knew. Katie was willing to give everything up and let Ethan be with Simon, eventhough it would break her heart.

"Ethan..." Katie whimpered, leaning forward. She closed her eyes and kissed Ethan on the lips, sobbing silently. She moved away, her face filled with hurt and pain. "I'll always be here for you." She said, her voice cracking. She slowly let go of Ethan's hands, and he knew she was ready to let him go. She would always be there, as a friend, but he broke her heart; and that was something he could never forgive himself for.

A/N
Thank you guys for 16K! I've probably lost a few readers along the way - especially with my inconsistent updates. But to the people who have stuck around, old and new - Thank You! And to the people who were here before and have left - I really don't blame you for leaving, my uploads are horrendous - but Thank You for being part of this!