Coming Out - An Emon Fanfic

Chapter 42 - Realisation

Ethan sat down on his computer and opened Word. He sighed as he started typing out a letter for his insurance company, he had backed into a lampost and the damage was bad.

After a few minutes of staring at the complicated words on his computer screen, he decided to have a break and surf the internet. He decided to go onto YouTube and check out any new videos Josh, Vikk or Tobi had uploaded as they were the only people in the Sidemen he could watch without drowning in memories.

He never checked Simon's channel or JJ's, he couldn't stand the sight of their faces - not because of anger or hatred, but because of pain and sadness. Watching Harry sometimes reminded him of the times Harry sometimes joined in with JJ in pointing out how Ethan was different, how Ethan was weird. Harry did stop joining in when it became apparent that JJ was quite serious when he was mocking Simon and Ethan, and he apologised a few times for joining in.

Ethan checked out Tobi's channel first, and watched the most recent video - Sit Down Sunday. In the last minute of the video, Tobi said something that made Ethan go back and watch the video again.

"Before I end this video I want to tell you guys to watch Simon's latest video. It's pretty intense and it's about some things that have been going on for a while. It'll answer a lot of your guys' questions regarding Ethan, The Sidemen and a lot of other things. Also, once you've watched the video spread the message, share the link on any social media you have because that video isn't just an update, it's a plea to someone that we hardly have any contact with - Ethan. So please check it out and spread the message. Thanks for watching, if you liked the video give it a thumbs up, if not give it a thumbs down and let me know how to improve and peace."

Ethan stared at the screen and slowly looked down at the description. The link for Simon's channel was there. Blankly, Ethan clicked on the link and watched as the page loaded. Immediately, his heart exploded as he saw Simon's face in the thumbnails of his videos. Simon was smiling, something Ethan hadn't seen in a long time, but the smile didn't seem real.

One video didn't have a thumbnail of Simon smiling, it was Simon crying, and JJ was next to him looking down... In shame. Ethan clicked on the thumbnail, his breath caught in his throat and his body still as he watched the video.

Simon spoke quietly and softly as if he would break out into tears if he thought too much. He looked into the camera as he spoke, his eyes shining with tears, his voice breaking. JJ sat next to him, looking guilty and sorry.

"I lost him. I lost... Him." Simon quietly spoke. Ethan froze as Simon went on. "I lost him. I lost Ethan."

Ethan took a sharp breath before quietly breaking into tears. He held his head in his hands as he listened to Simon. "I fell in love with Ethan and... I lost him. And I want him back, more then anything. I need him, I love him. I lost him because of my stupid mistakes and I hurt him so much and I regret it so much and... And I just want you back Ethan..."

Ethan looked up at the screen, covering his mouth with his hands to stifle his sobs as he saw Simon completely break down. The strong boy he once knew was weak and broken. Ethan's heart broke as he saw what he had caused. He dug his nails into his arm and shut his eyes as he hated himself for causing it. Simon was completely broken, and Ethan had caused it.

A/N
I AM SO SO SORRY GUYS. I hate myself for not uploading for almost a month... A FREAKIN MONTH! I've been so busy since school started and I basically have no life anymore. I'm really sorry but I'm gonna have to upload every week instead of every two days. I hope you guys can understand. And thank you for 13K, eventhough I haven't been active you guys have still been supporting me, thank you for that. Love you guys!