Shutter ❋ Joe Sugg AU

2 ❋ Amelia

By the time my shift at Tesco drew to a close, I felt completely down in the dumps. My legs ached from standing behind a checkout all day; my eyes were drooping due to my incompetent sleep; and above all I couldn't suppress the ache of longing in my chest - longing for my camera, which was supposed to be safely tucked in my backpack.

"Cheer up buttercup. We could go and get drunk tonight, if you wanted?" Dan said as we signed off for the night. I blew out a heavy sigh before responding.

"As great as that sounds, I'm gonna have to pass."

"I get it. If you want me to swing by with food later on just text me, I'll be around. I don't like to see you depressed, only I'm allowed to be depressed." Dan said as we walked out the store towards the employee car park. I was catching the tube home, but Dan had his own car and I usually walked him there at the end of our shifts.

"Thanks Dan, I appreciate the offer..."

"But you want to be alone, to wallow in your own self pity. That's okay." He said with a sympathetic smile, his brown eyes gleaming in the lamplight that shone over us in the darkened car park. A flurry of wind blew around us, carrying with it the occaisional bunch of autumn leaves. I pulled my coat tightly around myself in order to block out the chill.

"Have a good night Dan." I said with a half hearted smile. Dan tipped his head forward before ducking into his car and starting up the old engine. It eventually spluttered to life, and I watched as he manoeuvred his rusty Toyota Yaris out of the car park.

After that there was nothing to distract me from my thoughts - I kept thinking about my camera, where it was, who had it, if it was broken - I couldn't stop thinking of the worst possible outcomes. Although it seemed unlikely, I clung onto the hope that perhaps someone decent stumbled on my camera. Maybe it was in good hands, and maybe that person wouldn't rest until they found me.

During the tube ride home I tried not to think about it. I listened to loud music in my headphones and shut my eyes, resting my head back on the uncomfortable seat. Even though the train was crowded with commuters like myself, I felt like I was the only person in that dirty carriage as it rumbled down the tracks.

I felt unbearably exhausted by the time I got home. Our flat was located in downtown London, in a nice enough area. It was nothing 'posh', but the people were generally polite and the streets weren't noticeably dirty. It was often noisy at night because we were close to a busy street, however the sounds of the city never bothered me.

"I'm home!" I called out after opening the front door. I pulled my shoes off of my tired feet and threw them on the floor, lacking any motivation to be a tidy flatmate.

"Oh thank god you're here. Troye's run out of painkillers for his arm and I didn't want to leave him alone in case he needed anything. I'll just go to the pharmacy real quick, be back soon Mels." Tyler emerged from the hallway with a determined look in his eye, his hair ruffled up and his glasses slightly crooked. He looked beyond flustered, and I stepped aside so that he could open the front door.

"Um, okay... See you in a minute then?" I said just before he shut the door behind him.

"Yeah!" He called over his shoulder. He shut the door with a force that just about shook the whole apartment. I rolled my eyes and walked into the lounge room which looked messy, as usual. I dumped my backpack and on the nearest couch before walking to Troye's bedroom. 

Troye was lying in his bed, propped up slightly by a mound of pillows. He had a sheen of sweat on his forehead and his eyes had dark circles beneath them, but he still smiled at me when I came in. I looked on at the poor injured boy with sympathy crashing through me - he was too delicate to be in this situation.

"Hey Mels... How are you?"

"Oh shut up Troye, I'm fine. How are you? Are you in pain? Tyler said you were out of pain medicine and he's just gone to get you some more. Do you want water?" My motherly instincts were kicking in, or perhaps I just felt a desperate need to comfort the poor guy. He looked so desolate lying in bed with his arm held firmly in a sling.

"Mels, I'm fine, honestly. I've already got water and I'm not even in that much pain. Tyler's making a big deal out of nothing. I don't even need to be in bed, it's just a broken arm." Troye tried to appear flippant and casual as he pushed himself up on the bed with his good arm, but it was clear by the wince on his face that he was lying.

"Oh my god Troye, don't hurt yourself please..." I said desperately.

"I'm fine, calm yourself woman. How was work?" I rolled my eyes at his insistence to appear nonchalant. He had a badly broken arm for christ sake, he was allowed to be weak.

"It was shitty, it always is." I sighed, sitting down on the end of Troye's bed and pulling my legs up to my chest.

"Was Dan working today?" Troye asked while waggling his eyebrows excessively, a cheeky smirk on his face.

I groaned. "For the one millionth time, Daniel is my friend. FRIEND."

"Whatever you say honey. But seriously Mels, what's bothering you. I know it's not just work. Speak up." Troye peered at me with his giant blue eyes, giving me that sensitive, quizzical look that so often melted me. Just as it was doing now.

"I... I lost my camera." I said. Telling Dan about my loss was a completely different experience - Dan was comforting, but he also failed to recognise why it meant so much to me. He didn't know me as well as Troye, he didn't know the history behind the vintage camera that had been a part of my life since birth. Troye however, understood completely.

"Oh no Mels!  How on earth did you lose it?"

"Last night before you broke your arm I went out to the park to take some photos... After Tyler rang me I left it on this park bench, I don't know what the hell I was thinking." I said with my head in my hands.

"Have you been back there to check?"

"Yeah, I went back this morning before work... It wasn't there. It's hopeless Troye." I stared out his window which gave a mediocre view of the building next to us, with it's rusty brick covered in vines.

"Don't say that Mels, maybe it will turn up. You never know who picked it up, it could be someone really nice." Troye's eyes were alight with sympathy as he spoke, and I couldn't help but smile at his sensitivity.

"Yeah or it could be the alternative. Unfortunately there are a lot of greedy people in London." I said, and Troye didn't object because my words were true in a sad sort of way.

"Jesus... I'm sorry Mels." Troye said quietly after a breif period of silence.

"It just feels like I've lost a part of me, you know?" I said, on the verge of breaking down again. I couldn't stop thinking of my mother with her shimmering green eyes and freckle-covered skin. In my memory I could clearly see her holding up the camera - my camera - with her dainty hands, her finger clicking away. She always had an eye for seeing the beautiful in even the simplest things, and with her camera she captured every moment that ever made her smile.

"I know babe, I know." Troye said, his eyes fixed on me as I attempted to hold myself together.

I took a deep breath to collect myself before speaking. The memories of my mother somehow brought me back to my senses, and I realised that feeling sorry for myself wasn't going to do anything. "I'm going to find it Troye. If I go back to that bridge everyday, maybe the person that picked up my camera will come back. It's not very likely but it's worth a shot."

"That's more like it. Remember that lost things can always be found if you search long and hard enough."

I giggled at his philosophical outburst and he blushed a shade of pink. "Okay Socrates, thanks for the pep talk."

"No problame-o." He winked.

As I sat there with Troye and his crippled self, I felt another blossoming of hope arise in my chest. Perhaps it wasn't entirely justified, but it still settled itself within me and promised me that things would work out okay. I pictured the quaint, moss covered bridge in my minds eye. That was where I lost my camera, but perhaps soon I could find it again.

an: dedicated to breadsticklewk because their comments always make me laugh