Shutter ❋ Joe Sugg AU

7 ❋ Amelia

For the next few days, work was unbearably awkward. Dan hardly spoke to me - every lunch time he would leave the store to go get Subway. At the end of the day he simply shot me a few glances and gave an awkward 'Bye' before walking out the door. It was becoming tiring, watching him tip toe around me like a twelve year old boy.

On Saturday both of us happened to have a half day shift, so we were let off at 1pm. We were both walking across the car park in silence, neither of us quite sure what to say.

It took Dan an entire 2 minutes of painful awkwardness before he finally spoke up. We were standing outside of his car, and I thought back on that rainy afternoon when everything between us changed - I secretly
wished the kiss never happened, because I really did value our friendship.

"I'm terrible... at this..." He spoke in fits and starts, a grimace on his face as he gestured between us awkwardly.

"Terrible at what?" I said, smiling at him to ease the atmosphere.

"Oh you know what. The aftermath... You probably think I'm such a dick. I just didn't think I would ever, ever have the courage to do what I did... That's why I'm kind of shitting myself now." He bit his lip and stared at the pavement, his body subconsciously leaning away from me.

"It's okay Dan, really. You don't have to prove anything to me, or act differently, just be yourself." I said, mentally willing him to make eye contact with me.

He finally looked up, locking his gaze with mine. A shy, dimpled smile overtook his lips, and I returned it eagerly.

"Well... I don't really know how this works... I'm a socially inept computer nerd that doesn't have a wealth of experience behind him..." He said, and I laughed because he was finally returning to the bitter sarcasm that I always found so amusing.

"It doesn't have to work any particular way... Just do what feels right." I said, hoping briefly that he would apologise for the kiss, explaining that it was simply in the heat of the moment. I pictured us laughing it off, shaking hands and moving on as the good friends we have always been. But I could tell my hope was wasted because of the pink tinge on Dan's pale cheeks, the quick darting of his eyes to my lips and the nervous twitching of his fingers.

"Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?" He asked, suddenly shy again. I could already tell what was coming.

"No, I don't."

"Well then let's go out to lunch. My treat." Dan said, looking at me with those big brown eyes of his his, so filled with hope that I couldn't bear to crush. The poor, lanky boy was bearing himself to me and I couldn't very well dismiss him without even giving him a chance. So I swallowed down my apprehensions and tried to forget about the hollowness in me, warning me that this couldn't possibly work. I would try, at least.

"I'd like that." I smiled, and Dan gestured for me to climb into the car, a genuine smile on his face. I wished so desperately that I could feel the way he did, that I could know what it felt like to really want someone as he so clearly wanted me.

I wanted to take a photo of him grinning behind the wheel, but my backpack was still missing the one thing I cared about most. It hurt me to think about my camera, so I pushed the thought aside and tried to enjoy myself in Dan's company.

***

We went to a little known Italian restaurant which Dan insisted was the best place in London - after tasting the special pasta sauce I had to agree with him. We talked light heartedly over our food, acting like the easy friends we used to be. It was only towards the end of lunch that Dan blushed a shade of pink and mumbled something about 'taking the bill.' I didn't object because the gesture was nice and I didn't want to put him out.