Shutter ❋ Joe Sugg AU

35 ❋ Amelia

Loneliness weighed heavy on me as I tossed and turned in my sheets. Joe had been staying here pretty much every night since Christmas, or I had been going to his. It felt abnormal to see only empty space beside me, where I should've seen Joe.

I fiddled with the camera charm Joe gave me for Christmas. Since then I hadn't taken it off, and I didn't plan to any time soon. Now, as I felt the slightly warm metal in my fingertips I was reminded solely of the look on Joe's face when I left him out there in the cold.

Lying there in my dark room, I wanted nothing more than to ring him up now and beg for him to come over. The only thing holding me back was my stubbornness - in my eyes, he handled the situation with Dan wrongly, even if he was trying to do the right thing. I recognised now that Dan probably felt a lot worse than me when he said all those things. The fact remained that I was ready to forgive and forget, until Joe barged in.

I screwed my eyes shut in frustration. I was obviously going to talk to Joe tomorrow, but I really wanted him to apologise. Maybe I was wrong too. Perhaps we were both too proud to admit defeat.

I flicked on the lamp on my bedside table. My brain was in need of a distraction, so I grabbed one of my older albums from the shelf next to my bed. It had been years since I even looked at these things.

It was a documentation of every thing we did with Mum when she was sick. I was behind the lens, much to her annoyance. Some of the photo's were of her, sitting by the lake that was near our house, smiling at a group of geese. Some were of her and Dad, taken without them realising. Mostly they were abstract photos, of a particular object that I found interesting. A shell from the shore of a beach. A candy corn from the time we went to the carnival. A flower that I picked from a garden show. All of it was a story that flowed from page to page, an exhibition of the happiest times Mum had in her final days. This was my most personal collection of photos - not even Troye and Tyler had seen these.

I could feel emotions welling up inside me so I slammed the book shut. This was certainly not a good cure for my loneliness. I groaned quietly as I climbed out of my empty bed. I tip toed out of my room and into the bathroom so I could splash my face with water - I stared at my darkened silhouette in the mirror for a little while, gradually become chilled to the bone.

"Mels?" I only just heard Tyler's voice over the sound of my own breathing. I left the bathroom and saw him standing in his doorway, unsure of himself.

"Yeah Ty?"

"Do you wanna come cuddle me for a bit?"

I giggled softly and nodded yes without even thinking about it. This wasn't the first time we had both been up at ungodly hours of the morning and cuddled for a bit. Tyler went back to his bed and I joined him, glad to be back in a warm bed. Tyler was always the little spoon when we cuddled - just in case he ever got an accidental boner. He explained that sometimes it just happens randomly.

"So why are you awake?" He whispered. My chest was pressed to his back and I could feel the steady rhythm of his breathing.

"I feel bad because Joe and I sort of had a fight."

"Shut up. Tell me what happened."

I sighed, causing some of Tyler's faded purple hair to rustle. I traced an abstract pattern on his back while I told him the story, even including the way Joe looked at me when I left him on the doorstep.

"You definitely should've had him up here. Hearing you guys fuck really puts me to sleep. That's not even a joke."

I gasped and hit him gently on the back. "You're gross."

He chuckled a bit before responding. "Seriously though, don't let this worry you. It will blow over, you two are fucking inseparable. I'm sure Joe will come to forgive Dan one day."