Rupture // h.s au

21. "You didn't let me finish."

Harry

She tasted like cherry. Cherry and mint and a hint of smoke, yet, she tasted absolutely addictive. Her lips which were once limp against mine, were now hungrily kissing me back, deepening the kiss every time I considered pulling away. The pain from the weight I put onto my dislocated shoulder dissolved into the way her tongue licked my lips, slowly, seductively. She knew what she was doing, she was perfectly aware of her instruments and how to put them into proper function. And from that point on, I was a goner. Her fingers ran through my hair, blocked by my bandana.

" This is so wrong." She whispered into my mouth, her voice hoarse, strangled.

" I don't give a fuck."

" You don't know what you're doing, Harry."

" Shut the fuck up and kiss me." And she obliged, humming into my mouth, moaning slightly, as she tilted her head to the side, kissing me deeply, aggressively. A moment or so later, I pulled away to catch a breath, and so did she. Shaking her head slightly, she opened her eyes to meet my own, which were questioningly staring down at her.

" Why did you do that?" She questioned.

" Why did you help me yesterday?"

" Harry,"

" Honest answer, Autumn. No bullshit."

" I didn't want to owe you anything. You helped me before, and I helped you now, and that's that. No favors, no gratitude, no payback. Fair and square." Her eyes were void, cold, and hard, as she retrieved her arms back to her side.

" Tell me you didn't feel any of this. Tell me you don't feel anything at all for me. Look me in the eye, and lie to me, Autumn, and I'll believe you. I swear I'll believe you." I pleaded, resting my forehead against hers tiredly. Her eyes flashed of something I couldn't understand, but they weren't as dark anymore.

" I can't do that." She whispered.

" This has been your plan all along, right? To make me feel something for you, attach myself to you, and then take that away. You- this is it, right? I've given you what you wanted."

" It was my plan, yeah. This is what I do, Harry. I've warned you. I told you that I deceive you into trusting me, so you take your walls down, you let me in. You're vulnerable and sensitive, and that's when I attack." I couldn't hear any more of this, as I lifted myself off her, hanging my arm again, forcing my eyes to not go to her, because I couldn't handle her intense gaze. I couldn't handle watching her, doing what she did best, not when I believed in her so deeply, not when I felt for her so foolishly.

" Here I am then. Your plan has worked. Do it." I challenged, allowing my eyes to meet her own, to see if there was any hope left, for her to feel anything at all.

" You didn't let me finish." She acknowledged, her voice faltering.

" Yeah, right. Sorry, go ahead and tell me how exactly you intend on killing me."

" I don't."

" What?"

" I don't plan on killing you."

" That makes no sense."

" Neither does this."

" This, what?"

" This, Harry. What you brought upon me. Whatever the fuck I am now, it makes no sense at all."

" What are you talking about?" Her eyes watered, and for the first time since I had seen Autumn, she revealed emotion. Pure, raw, human, emotion.

" My plan. I did this so many times before. People fell for me, but I- I never failed. I never hesitated. It was easy, habitual, and satisfactory. But this time, with you, I- I faulted." I didn't trust myself enough to talk, as my eyebrows lifted in questioning.

" I fell... for you. I felt, and that was it. I had failed ever since I let you help me with the infection. I had failed since I let your words under my skin. Since I spent the night watching you sleep, because you seemed so at rest, so peaceful and carefree. I failed since I laughed at your stupid joke, because I wasn't entitled to laugh, Harry, but I couldn't help it. I failed since I worried, so deeply, for you, when you were carried into the house, bloody and bruised. I failed since I talked to that little girl about all I never allowed myself to even consider. I failed since I almost couldn't resist you last night. I failed, Harry. I failed, and I felt, and I fell, and I don't know what to do with any of this shit. I don't understand it, and I don't want it, and I have no way of handling it."

The tears freely fell against her beautiful face, as I rushed towards her, engulfing her into my embrace. She buried her face into my chest, weakly punching me, as if releasing the last bit of resistance she had within her. I found myself kissing the top of her head, letting my lips linger there for a bit, as I held her. I held her and she fit, ever so perfectly.

" What have you done to me, Harry?" She muttered, her voice almost fully dissolving into my tight embrace.

" I don't know, but we'll figure it out. It'll be okay."

And I remembered my speech with Niall all this time ago, when he told me that to break Autumn, we had to revive her to humanity. So, now, as she cried into me, still fearless and stronger than most, yet, absolutely vulnerable, I felt no urge whatsoever to avenge all those she killed before. All I felt was affection, compassion, and all that I wasn't allowed to feel, yet, felt anyway. I felt it all so profoundly, deeply, and limitlessly. And I didn't know if she had broken me, or if I had fixed her. Either way, we could have been in pieces together or one entirety, completing one another, as long as she was there in my arms.

________________________________________________________________

A/N: YES YES YES FINALLY PEEPS F I N A L L Y

so what now???? you never know ha

anyways, let me know what you think!

ily x