Rupture // h.s au

58. "He died."

Harry

I knew something was wrong. I could feel it in my bones. I managed to silence it every time I said something, simply to hear Autumn's voice in response. I managed to blur it, every time I looked into her eyes and drowned a bit. I managed to get rid of it, through every touch she allowed me. But then, we were walking into camp, and people were running around, and Zayn was yelling at someone, and I knew something had happened. Something that I could no longer disregard.

I didn't know if Zayn saw me first, or if I did, but we were rushing to each other, until finally, he crashed me into an embrace, that was unfamiliar but comforting all the same. He patted my back twice, whispering a "thank God" under his breath, before he released me. And that was when Autumn appeared by my side, with Raine still sleeping in her arms.

" What's going on, Zayn?" He looked between me and Autumn, tilting his head a bit, to make sure Raine was sleeping, it seemed, before he sighed, rubbing his hands across his face in distress.

" Fuck, Harry. Her dad passed. Raine's- he died."

Before I could allow myself to feel the ache poking at my heart, before I could hear her little voice, telling me that her father would go, would leave her, over and over again. Before I could lose my breath, and probably fall into an ugly pit of despair, Autumn was gasping, choking out an "Oh my God", before her body began to sway and she almost collapsed. My arms pulled out, circling around her figure, holding her weight before it hit the ground, as I pulled her into me, embracing her, through her tightening grip on Raine.

" Take her, Harry. Take her, take her. I can't. I can't do this."

She wasn't crying yet. I didn't think she could. But there seemed to be something strangling her, suffocating life inside her, and it hurt more than my own pain. I took Raine, quickly giving her to Zayn, as she began to stir.

Autumn was in my arms again. Completely and fully enveloped in my hold. She was shaking terribly, and no matter how hard I clung to her, she wouldn't calm. She was doing well, doing better, and now this would open all the wounds inside her, throwing salt into them, like they'd never healed at all.

I could hear Zayn's voice talking to someone, probably Niall, before Raine's voice began to join them, and I knew I had to be the one to tell her. I knew I had to be there, because she'd break. My God, would she break, and she was too young to piece herself back together. Too innocent and unknowing of how to fit them back.

" Are you okay? Autumn, talk to me." Her head moved into a nod against my chest, as she pulled at my shirt a bit desperately.

" I'm okay. I'm fine. Just got a bit dizzy, that's all." She pulled away, wincing, like her head was too heavy for her to carry on her own. I wished I could carry it for her. Carry it all.

" We'll talk about this, anything you need, when we get back home, alright?" She looked so sad, so weak, but you couldn't miss the smile tugging at her lips, before she nodded again, more confidently now.

I allowed my arms to let her go, standing there for a moment or so, to see if she'd be able to bear her own weight. And she did. She soldiered through, the way she always did, as she turned away from me, facing the confused Raine, who was now carried by Niall.

" Hey, Raine, I need to tell you something, but I need you to be the big, strong girl that you are, yeah?" I put my arms in the air, and she jumped into them, the way she always did. She nodded, young eyes suddenly fearful, and I wondered if she'd always known it would happen.

" You know how ill your dad was, right? You know he was injured pretty bad, and Rick, and everyone else did everything they could to help him?"

" Harry," Her voice shook, tears falling against her cheeks, but more were still filling her eyes. She looked like she'd never stop crying, like she had tears to last her a lifetime.