Rupture // h.s au

22. "You did the right thing."

Harry

I stole glances. Secretive, quick, cautious glances at the now composed woman walking beside me, carrying herself with such grace, such power, that I found myself wondering if I had imagined her previous breakdown all in my head. Her hair was a bit messy, flying away into the chilling air, her cheeks reddened in emotion and cold, most probably. Her hands trembled, ever so slightly, but that was it. No further signs of ever showing weakness, of ever revealing raw, unexpected emotions. And I realized that I had forgotten to return all she had confessed to me. Somewhere, along the lines of her crying, weakening under my consistent pressure, I forgot to tell her that I too, fell, and felt, and quite possibly, loved. The sight of Louis, Zayn, and Niall stole me away from those undeniable thoughts, as I straightened my posture, willing myself to not look at her in their presence.

" Styles, up and running already?" Zayn questioned, quickly pulling me into one of his very formal, professional hugs. I patted his back, before pulling away, throwing in a small smile to seal the deal.

" I thought I should go on rounds, you know, check how things are going. All is well?" He remained silent for a bit too long, his eyes leaving my own, to fall onto Autumn, who offered a mere eye roll, before focusing her eyes on the children playing in the distance.

" Zayn?"

" What is she doing here?" He asked through gritted teeth, his eyes narrowing in annoyance.

" She had been kept in my room for a long time now, so I thought I should take her with me on a walk, you know, as to not be left alone."

" Why isn't she back to the dungeon?"

" Excuse me?"

" The only reason we let her out was because she had an infection, the way I see it, she's well enough now to be properly interrogated."

" That's not going to happen."

" Excuse me?"

" We will not put her in the dungeon again. She had earned at least that."

" How, exactly, had our worst enemy, earned it?"

" She saved the little girl. Hid away, when she could have run away with the bureaucrats who attacked us. Helped me, when I was injured. You and I both know she could have easily finished us by now, so tell me, why hasn't she?" I detected a small smile forming onto Autumn's sinful lips, as she listened to our heated conversation.

" What do you plan on doing with her, then?"

" I don't know yet."

" Harry-" Zayn groaned.

" Zayn, drop it. She isn't doing anything, and we're not about to initiate war against the bureaucrats over killing her."

" You do know they'll come for her, right?" Niall quietly offered, approaching us cautiously, but keeping a fair distance between himself and Autumn. Her firm gaze landed on him, as she narrowed her eyes as if daring him to say it again to her face.

" What do you mean?" I asked, irritation seeping into my tone.

" I mean, this might have been part of their plan all along. Haven't you wondered why she was easily captured? We all know it's nearly impossible to capture Autumn, let alone keep her for almost two weeks now, without her attempting to escape, or anyone coming to get her?" My widened eyes moved from the composed Niall to fall upon her. She was staring at him, as if he had spilled all she had ever tried to hide away. I found myself bewildered, disappointed, betrayed by my own mind and heart, because I had allowed my foolish beliefs to control my thoughts, blur the line between hope and reality, and deceive me into thinking that maybe, she wasn't so bad after all.

But she wasn't bad. She was awful, dreadful. She was pure, limitless, evil.

Gritting my teeth, I averted my eyes away as to not absolutely destroy her, and everything she had resembled.

" Take her back to the dungeon. Chain her down. No food or water, till I say otherwise. No visitors allowed. Understood?" I focused my eyes on Zayn, who offered a grin, before nodding. It took every drop of composure I had within me, to not turn to her, and ask her why she had done this to me. Why had she gone through all of this trouble, to make me believe so deeply in a lie?

Louis, and Zayn proceeded to take her away, and she made absolutely no effort to fight back, or defend herself. She simply stared at me, her mouth slightly agape, her forehead free of all creases, except for one, as if pleading for me, to not give up on her so easily, to not believe them, because she really did care for me, she was really trying to get better. But who was I kidding? There was no way the woman who was incapable of feeling at all, would magically surrender to a lone feeling that I ignited within her. Perhaps, some people were meant to be bad. Perhaps, this one, I couldn't possibly save, even though, it felt like she was the only one I cared for saving.

" You did the right thing." Niall assured me, with an uncertain smile.

" Yeah, then why do I feel so wrong?"

" This is what she does. I know her, I've known her for quite some time now. Sure, what she did around here, was a bit unusual for her, but Autumn will not miraculously become human and kind and considerate. There is no fixing her, because there is nothing left to fix. There is nothing left to revive, or remind her of, because some people were just born monsters, and a monster is all Autumn can ever be. It's sad and unfortunate, but that's the world we now live in."

And I suddenly despised this so called world more than I already had, because it broke Autumn. It absolutely ruined her, and now she had to suffer for what was brought upon her. She had to live with what she had become, embrace it, only for it to be held against her. If she had to be so bad in order to survive this life, then what made us any better than her?

Maybe to someone out there, I was an Autumn, and they felt the need to destroy me, before I destroyed them. Maybe I wasn't as good as everyone had assumed me to be. Maybe I was as bad as she was, or even worse. And really, wasn't good and bad both relative definitions in this undefined world? Weren't they dependent upon perspective? Weren't there limitless, infinite ways for one to be either?

And if there were, then who was to say that I was good and Autumn was bad? Maybe it was the other way around, or we were both equally as good as we were bad. Maybe, just maybe, we were both destined to destroy one another, till all life departed us, leaving us in ashes, remains of what once was, as all humans were destined to be.

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ily x