Life's What You Make It

Chapter 54

She's baaaaack

Beyoncé's pov

I tossed and turned while Shawn slept soundly beside me, completely unaware of the storm in my head. It had been two weeks since we got back from the trip, and tonight, Jasmine insisted on sleeping on her own, without me there. As much as I wasn't sure she was ready, she kept insisting. It was Thursday night, or technically, early Friday morning now. With school in a few hours, I couldn't stop running through all the ways the day could go wrong. If she didn't sleep well, she'd be dragging through her classes, and that only ever led to trouble with her teachers. Including me.

Being her mom and her teacher was a balance I still hadn't quite mastered. Some days I was too soft. Other days, too hard. Jasmine had been through too much already, and she kept her guard up most of the time, like she was waiting for something to go wrong. I recognized the look. I'd seen it in kids before. I just never expected to see it every day in my own house.

She was sixteen, opinionated, stubborn as hell, but so scared of needing someone that she rarely let herself want anything. Especially comfort. Still, she held her ground and asked for space tonight. And I gave it. Out loud, at least. But here I was, wide awake, staring at the ceiling while she was across the hall, hopefully asleep.

Just a couple nights ago she'd tried the same thing, and I woke up to find her curled up on the floor beside our bed. She didn't say a word, just laid there with her hoodie over her face and her blanket half on the floor. We didn't even know she was there until morning, when I nearly tripped over her. She brushed it off, laughed a little. I didn't.

I sighed and slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Shawn. My feet moved automatically, muscle memory guiding me down the familiar hallway. I peeked into Blue's room first. She was twisted up in her covers, one leg dangling off the bed, her mouth slightly open as she dreamed. She stirred a little when I adjusted the blanket around her shoulders, her lashes fluttering, but she settled quickly, her tiny hand clutching the stuffed elephant she couldn't sleep without. I brushed a kiss to her forehead before gently closing the door behind me.

Then I crossed the hall to Jasmine's door.

It was closed, as always. I hovered for a moment, hand resting lightly on the knob. I didn't want to smother her. I didn't want her to feel like I didn't trust her. But I needed to know

Slowly, quietly, I turned the handle.

She was asleep. Not restless, not twisted up like the last time. Just still. Curled up on her side, phone beside her, no blanket pulled up, as usual. Her face was softer in sleep, unguarded in a way I rarely saw when she was awake. I stood in the doorway for a beat, just watching her breathe, before stepping inside to pull the blanket gently over her. She sighed, barely stirred.

I stood there for a moment. She had no idea how much I wanted to get this right. How much I already loved her. Sixteen, but still my baby. She had no idea how much space she took up in my heart.

I returned to our room and slipped beneath the covers. Shawn stirred, his voice thick with sleep.

"Where you been?" he murmured.

"Checking on the girls," I whispered.

He reached for my hand under the blanket and gave it a slow squeeze. "They're fine. Jas is fine. You gotta stop worrying."

"I know," I murmured, even though we both knew I didn't believe it.

Shawn didn't press. Just pulled me a little closer. "You're doing good, Bey. She'll see it. Just give her time."

I didn't reply. I just pressed my forehead to his shoulder, grounding myself in the steady rhythm of his breathing, letting his warmth pull me back toward rest.