Life's What You Make It

Chapter 44

Cry I started uni again today, and I'm not feeling my timetable💔 might drop out💔 so enjoy this update, last one for a bit lmao. Second semester of final year, here we gooo

Beyoncé's POV
I'd gotten about 20 minutes sleep since Michelle left at 4:30 this morning. Jasmine wouldn't stop tossing, turning, shivering and every now and then silently sobbing in my arms from I can only assume, a build up of emotions.

I checked my phone for the time seeing it had just gone 6:45 in the morning. If last night hadn't have happened, I would get getting up to get ready for work around now. I couldn't stop thinking about the conversation I would be having with Shawn soon. I was planning on waiting another hour or so before I rang him, because New York is an hour ahead, but at the same time I wanted to get it over and done with. I needed his advice. I needed to know what to do right now.

"Bey." Jas whined, as she tossed again.

"You're okay baby, I'm still here." I whispered, rubbing her back as she cuddled up to me.

"It's too hot."

"You're hot?" I whispered, feeling her forehead with the back of my hand. "You don't feel warm."

"No I'm hot." She whined again, wafting the covers to get some air. She'd been shivering and saying she was cold most of the night, but always felt really warm, and now she was too hot but didn't feel it.

"Just close your eyes and try get some sleep. I'm not going anywhere okay." I told her, pulling her close as she rested her head in the crook of my neck and I brought my hand up to her face, stroking her forehead with my thumb.

Once I noticed her breathing changed, I looked down and she was sleeping so I carefully lifted her off me, and turned over on my side before closing my eyes again, trying to get at least another half an hour sleep.

I woke up hearing my phone ping next to me and groaned. That felt like the shortest nap. I grabbed my phone and unlocked it, seeing a text from Shawn, saying good morning and to have a good day. We always did this if any of us were away from each other. I sighed slightly, debating whether to ring him now or wait a bit longer. No, Michelle said to ring him first thing.

To: Shawn💍
Hey, Imma ring you in 5. Make sure Blue is out the way.

I hovered over the send button for the longest time, reading and rereading the message, before finally pressing send. I carefully climbed out of bed trying to release Jasmine from her grip, but she held on tight.

"Bey." She whispered sadly in her sleep.

"I'm just ringing your dad. I'll be on the balcony."

"No!" She shot up. "Please don't."

"Baby girl, he has to know. You know that right?"

"I won't do it anymore." She said, her eyes tearing up. I sat back down, taking her hands in mine.

"Sh, sh. Don't cry." I whispered softly. "I know you not gonna do it again, but only because we're gonna help you get through this. If I hadn't have found out, you'd still be popping pills. What you've been doing is really dangerous baby, your dad needs to know so he can help too."

"But-"

"It'll be fine, I promise. He won't get mad, he won't be angry. He'll be worried if anything, you're his child- you're our child, let us help you." I told her, wiping her tears in her eyes with my thumb and she sniffed before nodding.

"Okay." She whispered.

"Good girl. Lie down and go back to sleep. Imma be out there on the balcony, I won't be long." I told her as she lay back down. I sat for a minute, to make sure she was good, before getting up, handling my business in the bathroom and making my way out and onto the balcony.