Destined Hearts

Chapter 50

Muhammad's POV

I watch as my third call of the day goes unanswered. It's been a week since she left. Since she walked out on me. A week of not hearing her voice, not feeling her touch. It's been hell.

I call her every day but she hasn't picked any of my calls or replied to any of my texts. And I've sent quite a few. I don't even know where she is so I can't show up and try to bring her home.

I know she's definitely not at Mami's because when I called to ask Mami if Inayah could spend a few more days, she sounded normal not like she knew that my wife, her niece, had decided she wanted a divorce.

It won't be long before she finds out though and she will try to fix things. At this point maybe I do need her to help me fix it. I don't know where she went, she isn't picking my calls. She has removed all access from her.

I know I fucked up. Big time. But I know I can fix it. The day she left I was finally ready to let go of the past. She's who I wanted. It may have taken me too long to fully realize it but I think a part of me always knew.

I messed up about the house but I was trying to fix it even before she told me she knew. I should've told her from the beginning but I didn't come into this marriage expecting to care for her more than anything. To love her.

Because I do love her. I'm in love with her. I think I have been for a while I have just been too blind to see it. And now she probably doesn't think I do. She's hurt by me and everything she said that night was true. I kept on breaking the promises I made her because I was too much of a coward. 

I didn't deserve her. She was an extraordinary person and I didn't deserve her. She deserves someone better than me but I know I would never be able to handle seeing her with someone else. I have to be better. For her. I have to be the person she deserves.

My phone stays blank. No call or text from her. I get up from her bed that I had been sleeping in since she left. It smells like her and her scent on my pillows were leaving. I needed to feel close to her and this was the next best thing.

I grab my phone and leave the room. I head downstairs, the house too quiet and empty without her or Inayah here. But I deserve it. I pushed her away.

The silence is too loud and her absence louder so I grab my car keys and leave the house. I don't have a plan of where to go. I can't go to Mami's because the moment she sees me she'll know something's wrong. Then she'll ask where's Madeenah and I'll have no answer. And I can't deal with that right now.

So I just drive. I drive for a while before I find myself in front of a familiar black gate. I drive in to the house and park in my usual parking spot. I take a moment in the car to really think if I should be here. Is this proof of what Madeenah says or is this the way forward? The only way to fully move on.

I switch off my car and step down. Umma is standing by the front door, looking at me. As I walk closer to her, her calm face turns worried at my appearance.

"Muhammadu. Me ya faru?" She asks but she doesn't wait for my answer before she ushers me into the house and upstairs to her room.
(Muhammad. What happened?)

She orders the maid to come up with Shai Laban, her Sudanese tea. It's always been a comfort drink for me since the first time I had it in this house when I came for Maryam's hand.

We settle in her bedroom. Both of us on the carpet. My head is down, while she watches me with worry.

"Muhammadu. Me ne? Ina Madeenah?" She asks.
(Muhammad. What is it? Where's Madeenah?)