DRUGS AND LOVE || Hyunlix

ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ

𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮

I'm not coming back, leave the dishes.
ˢᵉⁿᵗ

Blonde stared at message once again. He barely made it out from that bathroom and the next day he was already faced with that message.

He didn't have any reaction, better he wanted to be alone.

Felix knew this day would come, maybe Hyunjin will change his mind and suddenly grab him and throw him out. And where is he supposed to stay? Thoughts send shivers through Felix's body.

So he just tried to be as calm as possible. He started to call this place home. And losing it would mean losing himself too.

Still, something in his chest ached to fix things. Not for Hyunjin. Not even for the painting. But for the part of him that still believed he wasn’t completely ruined. That he wasn’t always going to destroy everything he touched.

He grabbed his hoodie, shoved it on, and stepped out into the cold air.

The market was loud, messy. People walked past him like he didn’t exist, and for once, he was thankful for it. His fingers hovered over every price tag, picking the cheapest canvas he could find, one that was slightly bent at the corners. He didn’t care. He just needed something. Something to start over.

When he got back home, the silence wrapped around him again. Hyunjin's shoes weren’t by the door. The room smelled like old paint and hurt feelings.

Felix placed the new canvas in the middle of the room, hands slightly shaking. He cleaned up what was left of the destroyed one—collected the torn shreds, the dried red paint. He stared at it longer than he meant to, then turned away before it swallowed him again.

He placed Hyunjin’s old brushes beside him. The same ones he wasn’t supposed to touch. The ones that had his fingerprints and colors and life.

He sat cross-legged in front of the blank canvas.

And began.

Stroke by stroke, not perfect, not even close—but careful.

He tried to remember every part of it, little by little. He wasn't skilled but at least he was trying.

Frown didn't leave his face. He stressed out.

"Fuck..." Blonde breathed out.

Should i just paint what i want? He thought to himself. So he just started it. Closed his eyes and tried to imagine the world Hyunjin was in.

World was autumn. Orange leaves, jazz playing, but at the same time he thought of sunny day, field full of red roses. Or just Hyunjin.

When he straightened back, his back ached. It's been hours. And his painting was just... Something else.

Orange, yellowish sky, brown leaves on trees, but there was a bush with bright red roses. It was awkward and weird to look at. But interesting from someone whose hobby wasn't art.

But the main thing was the middle, like he tried to draw Hyunjin but it turned out messy. It wasn't Hyunjin at all, but at least shadow of him.

He wasn't proud of it, but at least his chest felt lighter. He could breathe normally again.

The afternoon sun finally changed, the sky painted the room into pink and blue colors.

Blonde laid back on the floor, shirt pulled up to his chest, hair damp and messy. His tiny fingers traces lines in the middle of his stomach with painting.