DRUGS AND LOVE || Hyunlix

ɢᴜɪʟᴛ

𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭

As Hyunjin pulled the car from the parking lot, he sped away.

Felix was lost in his thoughts, repeating conversation time after time, small smile playing on his lips.

"Hyunjin." He suddenly called. Older's ears pricked up. "Yeah?" Felix bit his lip, looking at Hyunjin with a soft, almost pleading expression. "Can we stop to one more place for a moment? I promise it will be last." Hyunjin couldn't help but chuckle. "Y'know you can ask me anything. I won't get mad.

"I wanna see my parents."

"Hmm... Yeah-" Hyunjin drove normally before he realized what Blonde just said... "Wait what?"

His hands clutched tighter in his lap. Felix wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing but... It was his family. He missed them despite everything.

"Do you... Do you really want to do it? Y'know it might not go well. Like it did with Chan." Hyunjin mumbled, keeping on hand on the steering wheel while he moved another on Felix's thigh.

"I just feel like it's necessary." Felix looked up finally, his expression changed completely.

"O-okay, it's your choice." Hyunjin reassured him.

Once they arrived at familiar neighborhood for Felix, he tensed up. He felt nostalgia kicking in. It's been years since he last saw this place.

Hyunjin glanced at him. For a moment he was really worried about how things would go, but he trusted Felix to take care of things. "Hey... Do you want me to follow you?" Blonde just shook his head. "I'll be quick, thank you." He whispered and opened the car door, but just in seconds, Hyunjin grabbed his wrist, pulling him back.

Before Felix could make a sound, Hyunjin pressed his lips on blonde's plumpy ones. It was a quick but reassuring kiss. When he pulled back, older looked down at Felix's lips. "Don't be nervous... They'll understand."

_

Felix stood in front of the brown metal door. He took long time before finally knocking. His heart beating faster than ever.

He waited.

The door opened slowly, revealing middle aged woman standing there, eyes slightly wide and confused. It was hard sight to see.

"Mom..." Felix breathed out. "It's me." He said it like he was complete stranger to his own mom, like he knew everybody forgot him already and moved on.

Her hand stayed on the door, frozen in place. She looked at him like he was a ghost. Her eyes flicked down to the hoodie he clutched against his chest, then back to his face. For a moment, she said nothing. Just stared.

“Felix?” she finally whispered.

He nodded, his voice caught in his throat. “Yeah.”

A long pause. Her lips parted, but no smile came. “What are you doing here?”

Felix felt his chest tighten. “I… I just wanted to talk. If that’s okay.”

His mother hesitated. Then, she opened the door a little more. “They’re all inside,” she said quietly and turned without waiting for him to follow.

Everyone was in kitchen, eating together, when he stepped in, Olivia dropped fork from surprise. Rachel looked up at him with frown.

"Hey..." Blonde breathed out. He smiled but that didn't change the tension in the room.

"I- it's been long time..." His dad muttered. "Sit." Felix walked towards the dining table nervously, he sat in corner. His mom standing behind her husband.

Silence stretched, until Felix finally broke it. "I'm not here to ask for money or anything, i- i uhm.." he hesitated. Everything was etched on their faces, the uninterested expressions, bored eyes. "I've been clean for over a month now, I'm going to therapies and... I have a home."

He let words sink in, before continuing. "There's people who understand me and helped me through this..."

"I know i hurt you, i know i offended our name when i started using..." He swallowed hard. "I disappeared like nothing and i feel guilty about it." He looked up at his mom with pleading eyes. "I just want you to understand and... Believe me that I'm really clean. And i miss you." His voice broke.

"Can we continue like before?" He asked softly, his throat tightening. Nobody was talking, nobody dared to say anything. "And who gave you permission to even stay here right now?" Rachel asked while cheweing food. Felix hesitated. "I- I asked mom-" "don't call her that." Olivia chimed in.

Felix widened his eyes and glanced at mom. "Mom?!" His voice broke, lump forming in his throat. Blonde stood up and walked towards her.

"Don't." She whispered. "I lost my son years ago, when you chose to go out and get high instead of listening to me." Her voice was calm but not kind. "But i came back! I'm right here, can't you see?" Felix pointed at himself, his eyes wide as breathing got little too hard.

He felt tears finally form. He planned to not cry, not cry the sad tears. "I was sick, mom." He walked closer. "I didn't know how to ask for help. I swear-"

"Don't act like a victim." Rachel mumbled as she took sip from the cup, glancing at Olivia who was now watching all of this with fear and worry.

Felix turned back to his mom. “Please…” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “Please… forgive me. I’m so sorry. I swear, I’ve changed. I just— I need you. I need my family.”

His mother looked at him, really looked at him. For a moment, there was something in her eyes. Something that flickered—familiarity, maybe. A glimpse of the boy she used to tuck into bed.

Felix went closer and grabbed her hands, holding them close to his chest. "Mommy i miss you, I'm sorry, please." His voice was small, broken. Like he would cry in past when he was little.

"You're not my son."

Felix felt the oxygen leave his lungs. His whole body trembled, his vision swimming with tears. “Please… don’t say that. Please… just once, tell me you still love me.”

"You grew up... Go and live the path you chose..." His mother whispered, pulling her hands away from Felix's.

It was enough for him to give up.

He turned and stumbled out of the house, the air hitting his face like a slap.

The door didn’t close behind him. No one followed.

When he reached the car, he collapsed into the passenger seat, and Hyunjin immediately leaned toward him.

His bottom lip was quivering, eyes puffy from crying as he struggled to breathe.

"Hey..." Hyunjin reached out to wipe tear away from Felix's freckled cheek. "Don't. Just drive." Felix whimpered. "But-" "just drive!" Felix yelled, leaning from passenger seat to rest his head on Hyunjin's shoulder as he sobbed.

Hyunjin quickly silenced himself. Slowly pulling out from parking lot and driving back to their place.

Drive was quiet. Felix didn't move an inch. Right in that moment, police was driving on opposite road, Hyunjin caught his breath, tensing up.

Felix wasn't wearing seatbelt. Was dangerously leaning to the driver.

Hyunjin made eye contact with police for a moment, silently praying that he wouldn't get stopped.

Police car slowed down, dangerously. But quickly drove away, hyunjin breathed out from relief.

Thanks to Felix for acting like they were lovey dovey couple.

"We're here." Hyunjin whispered. "Come on, you deserve to rest."

To be continued...

Chemical kid