Little white lies

Chapter 14

Hi babes,

I'm sorry for all the pov changes but... DEAL WITH IT.

Okay, no jk. ANYHOW this is probs gonna be my last update for the next two weeks bc I'm going to Egypt and I'm not gonna bring my laptop and the WiFi there sucks so... yeah hope you enjoy this chapter :)

xoxo C.

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Louis' pov

I angrily close my door and scream in frustration. First he fucking tells me he loves me and not even a day later I see him snogging some fuckboy at the park. I just now realize that I'm crying. How can he just use me like that? And with what point it's not like we fucked.

I go to my bedroom changing into a pair of black skinny jeans and a random band shirt. I don't give a fuck about anything right now I just want to get drunk. I walk out of my apartment and make sure to stop in front of Harry's door throwing his jacket and keys in front of it.

I make my way to some club only 15 minutes away and order a drink as soon as I walk in. A very good looking guy comes sitting next to me "You wanna dance?" I look him up and down he's really fit.. ugh who am I kidding? He looks like shit compared to Harry, I think everyone does tho. But Harry is a cheating bitch so I need to stop comparing him to others.

"No, but I wouldn't mind a drink." The stranger smirks and orders us both a few shots.

An hour and a lot of empty glasses later I can barely form words and can't function properly. I love it. I grab the stranger's wrist pulling him towards the exit. "What are you doing?" I turn around pulling him close and suck on his neck. I let my breath ghost over his ear making him shiver. "We're going to my apartment and I'm going to fuck you. Hard." I whisper huskily in his ear. He nods eagerly and we walk out of the club.

Harry's pov

About an hour later I decide to go home and break into my own apartment or something but someone calling my name stops me. "Harry!?" I kinda recognize the voice but just can't place who it belongs to. I spin on my heels gasping when I see him and tears start to form again. "M-Mathew..."

He runs towards me wrapping his arms around me tightly. I hug him back burying my face in his neck crying softly. He pulls back and places one of his hands on my cheek wiping away my tears. Before I realize what he's doing he kisses me. At first I'm too shocked to do anything but then Louis pops up in my mind and I take a step back. "Matt I- What..?" He chuckles and his dimples that I love so much appear on his cheeks. "I remember Harry. I remember everything." My eyes widen "Hows that possible!?"

He pulls me towards a bench so we can sit down. "There's a treatment, but It's really expensive so my parents saved money for a few years and well... Now I remember everything." He leans in to kiss me again, but I turn my head so he kisses my cheek. "I have a boyfriend Matt.." He looks kind off hurt but then smiles. "I'm happy for you Harry. Does your mom like the new boyfriend eh?"He nudges my side playfully. He doesn't know... Of course he doesn't, it happened on the same day as his surgery.

"They um she died in a car crash three years ago.." He gasps softly. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry Harry. do you still speak with Gemma?" I gulp taking a deep breath. "She died too." I look at Matt to see him trying to wipe away his tears. "When did it happen?"

"It happened after you called that day three years ago.," I tell him everything how I lost them and only found out about it a few days later and how he pushed me away and laughed at me when I walked into his hospital room that day.

"Harry I'm so so sorry please forgive me." I smile weakly. "It's okay Matt 's not your fault" We talk for a bit longer and make sure to have each others numbers before we both go home.

When I get home my jacket and keys are lying in front of me. It looks like they're just carelessly thrown in front of my door and someone could have easily opened my apartment and stole everything. Louis must really hate me... Not that it surprises me I hate me too.

I sigh deeply walking inside and immediately go to my bedroom pulling off my jeans and shirt. It's been so long ago that I cutted my stomach. But I crave the feeling of being dizzy because of the blood loss. So I grab a new sharp blade and press it against my stomach and slowly drag the blade across my skin. It's not deep enough. I cut the same cut again making it deeper. More blood starts to roll down my sides, but I don't care and do it again making the cut deeper and deeper. It hurts so bad, but I deserve it. I feel myself getting dizzy and make a few last cut on my stomach and thigh before putting away the blade and pressing a towel against the deep cut on my stomach. I let myself fall asleep deciding I can take care of the cuts tomorrow.

***

When I wake up my stomach hurts so bad and there's blood all over my sheets. I pull off the towel that's now red and stare at my stomach. It's covered in blood and the cut doesn't look good. I use all my strength to get off the bed and clean the cut. When I'm done and my stomach is wrapped in bandage I'm dizzy again. I cutted a bit too deep, but I'm not dead yet so who cares...

As soon as I feel a tiny bit better I buy Lou flowers and make my way to his apartment. I knock twice but don't get an answer so I decide to just open the door with the key he gave me.

Louis' pov

The stranger and I enter my apartment and I pin him to the door as soon as It's closed. We kiss eagerly for a while before I pull him to my bedroom and push him on the bed stripping him from all his clothes.

***

Jake, I think his name is Jake at least, Is lying next to me snoring softly, but I can't sleep I keep thinking about Harry he only kissed someone else as far as I know and I slept with a stranger... I decide to tell him everything tomorrow and ask about the guy in the park. I close my eyes and drift of to sleep quickly.

A knock on the door wakes me up I groan and rub my hand over my face trying to remember what happened last night. Flashback of last night slowly starts to play in my head. The 'fight' Harry cheating on me well at leat it looked like that... and jake. I gasp and turn on my side seeing jake fast asleep. I hear the door to my flat open But before I can think of anything Harry is standing in the doorway looking at the ground. "I'm sorry about yesterday Lo-" he looks up cutting off his sentence.

Harry's pov

I enter his apartment making my way to his bedroom I really need to apologize to him. I'm sorry about yesterday Lou-" I cut myself off and gasp loudly. Louis is sitting up with a terrified look on his face and a random guy is laying next to him snoring. They both have really obvious love bites on their neck and chest. "Harry..." I raise my hand signaling him to stop talking.

"You know Louis.. the reason I didn't want to go any further is because I have scars and cuts. my thighs are covered in them. Yes I cut and not a little cut on my wrist once in a while but big deep cuts on my thighs and wrist almost every night I even ended up in a hospital once because I cutted to deep. It's not like I never wanted to do anything with you, but it happened before. Every time I decided to ignore my cuts and scars because I trusted the person I was with they ended up looking at me in disgust and called me pathetic, an attention whore and then they just left me.So that, Louis, is the reason I don't want you to undress me." I drop the flowers "I came to apologize, but I see you're already over it" I walk out of the door wincing when I feel the cut on my stomach open again.

I hear Louis calling my name, but I just ignore it. I want to go home clean my stupid cuts maybe add a few and go to sleep. Why am I never good enough for anyone? 

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Qotc: How did you react to drag me down?

(please answer I look rlly lame if no one answers...) 

Aotc: I just woke up and the first thing I saw was that drag me down was out so I literally started shaking and crying ( Like I said I just woke up don't judge...) And I love it so much. It's really different from their other songs, but I think if their other new songs are gonna be a bit like this an even bigger crowd is gonna listen to one direction. I mean my brother always used to be like 'their music is so gay' but he already kinda liked Four and when he heard drag me down he absolutely loved it. K I'm gonna stop now bye.