Little white lies

Chapter 30

Hi babes, 

Today Louis is turning five awww. My little kitten is growing up :')

It's a pretty short chapter but adding more would kinda ruin the moment.

I actually got a bit emotional writing this... *monkey emoji*

Enjoy the chapter

xoxo C.

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Louis' pov

I haven't been eating. I haven't been sleeping... I spent most of the time at the hospital holding his hand, not saying a word till they tell me to go home.

And once I'm home I don't do anything. Sometimes one of the boys find me passed out on the couch because I drank too much, but most of the time I'm staring blankly at the wall or a black tv screen.

It's been going on like that for 2 months...

I know I should try to move on but living without Harry isn't something I want to do. I sigh, taking small sips from my vodka.

I don't even like vodka in all honesty but the slight burning in my throat feels good. I wonder what Harry would do if I was the one pretty much dead.

I hear a knock on my door and people talking, but I don't feel like talking to anyone right now.

Suddenly the door opens, Right I gave Liam a key...Why did I do that? "Hey Lou we haven't seen you in the hospital for like 5 days, are you okay?" My head snaps up 5 days! "I didn't realise it was that long..."

I see zayn, who's standing behind Liam, trying to hold back tears. What's happening?

"Lou tomorrow he's in a coma for exactly 2 months..." I shrug "Yeah I know.. What's your point?" He sits next to me Zayn and Niall sharing the love seat. "Don't you remember what the doctor told us?" shake my head, afraid of what Liam is going to say.

"Lou... They said if Harry isn't doing any better in two months they'll.. uhm.. They'll have to let him go. Harry isn't doing any better.." I look up at him unable to process his words. After everything I have to let him go.

I have to say goodbye and see him die. No chance he'll come back, this time, it'll be happening right in front of my eyes. I feel Liam's arm around my shoulder and instead of pushing him away, I wrap my arms around him tightly, burying my face in his neck. My body is shaking with sobs, I'm actually going to lose him this time.

The room is filled with our sobs and shaky breaths. All of us breaking by the realisation we're going to lose him. Our best friend, the sweetest most beautiful, honest and kind person is gone.

x

Goodbye,

Like a withered petal of a rose,

Like a dead branch on a tree.

You are no longer mine,

yet you have taken a part of me.

Everyone's crying, staring at Harry's pale face. We all know even when the heart monitor was beating steadily for two months, he was gone the moment he got here.

I take a shaky breath and take his hand in mine for one last time.

"I'm sorry Harry... I know I've said it like a thousand times already but I truly am sorry. I'm sorry for not noticing how you faked your smiles, I'm sorry for not noticing the sadness in your eyes, I'm sorry for not seeing how much you loved me but couldn't love yourself just yet...

I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me most, I'm sorry for yelling at you, I'm sorry I failed at showing you how precious you are, but I'll never be sorry for loving you...

I don't know where it all went wrong... I wish I could turn back time and undo all the pain you've been through. I wish we could kiss one last time, I wish I'd feel your arms wrapped around me at night when tears are streaming down my face.

I just wish I could be with you and just forget about all the fights and mistakes we made. But that's not going to happen I know that...

I love you, Harry. I really do.

Goodbye." 

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thoughts?

QOTC: Are you excited for christmas

AOTC: YASS I LOVE CHRISTMAS <3

I apologize for any errors x.