Little white lies

Chapter 31

Hi babes :),

I never thought I'd write more than 10 chapters so I'm kinda proud I made it past 30.. 

Happy new year n all that <3

Enjoy the chapter

xoxo C.

++++++++++

Liam is tugging at my arm and doctors are telling me to leave. But I can't. I love him, I promised I'd never leave him. He has to wake up.

I'm screaming and crying, everyone in the room is trying to calm me down. But what's the point in that. How am I supposed to calm down when they're about to stop the machines keeping him alive.

He's going to be dead in a few minutes. Gone forever.

He won't be there to hug me, kiss me, make me laugh. We won't go on a holiday together, won't get married won't start a family... We won't have a future together. I won't have a future, I don't want a future without him.

Liam and Zayn pick me up, struggling to get me out of the room. "Lou, love, please calm down." Zayn's voice is calm but laced with sadness. "H-how am I sup-supposed to calm d-down when Harry is dead!"

I hear Liam sniffle and see Niall wiping away tears that continue to roll down his cheeks. "We know that okay! We're hurt too. No one wants to lose him but screaming isn't going to help any of this so calm the fuck down!"

I immediately go quiet when I hear how angry Zayn is. He's right I'm being pathetic, we all loved him...

I sit down in a chair followed by everyone else. I rest my head in my hands taking deep breaths.

I am tired. Not for a lack of rest. I slept surprisingly well last night and I've had my coffee.

it's something deeper, something inherently present, in the fibers of my skin, In my tendons, in my eyes.

I am exhausted, fatigued by life, by the noise and the silence, the people, and the empty rooms, the light, and dark; by hope and despair.

So worn down by the world that nothing in it can refresh my mind from the constant buzzing.

I am tired, and there are not enough hours in the night for the type of rest I need.

All I wanna do right now is sleep next to him. I want to come home to him... I know that I can't trust myself with my 3 AM shadow but I'd rather fuel a fantasy than deal with this alone.

Suddenly I see doctors rushing towards Harry's room talking fantically and seeming shocked about something.

All I can think about is that something is wrong, but what can go wrong when he's 'supposed' to die.

I nudge Chloe with my elbow pointing at the doctors not knowing what to say besides what the actual fcuk. She's just as lost as I am, her red-rimmed eyes wide with confusion.

I quickly walk towards the doctors and ask them what's going on but none of them give an answer.

I sit back in the chair nothing else I can do really... I don't want to go home where everything is connected to a memory of Harry. The kitchen counter, where he always sat when I was cooking, writing in his journal or pulling me between his legs to softly peck my lips.

The couch, where we always sat and watched movies, talked endlessly, cuddled under warm blankets, or made out as long as we wanted. The bed, where we held each other tightly almost every night. And even the bathroom, where we used to brush our teeth standing next to each other, bursting out in a fit of giggles when we looked at each other trough the mirror.

Everything reminds me of him...

I let out a deep sigh and close my eyes suddenly feeling how sleepy I am.

x

I groan when I feel someone lightly shaking my shoulder. "Lou let's go home you've been in this chair for over 6 hours now." Was it really that long?

I shake my head, "No if I go back home it's like I'm okay with Harry being dead and I'm not if you haven't noticed." Niall lets out a sad sigh. "I know Louis, I know. but you can't sit here forever."

And I know that's true but I don't want to officially leave him.

Just when everyone's putting on their jackets, not including me, the door to Harry's room swings open.

A stressed out doctor comes walking towards us smiling lightly. What's his his problem? "Louis. Louis Tomlinson?" I get up confused as hell and raise my hand a little. "Uhm.. yeah that's me. Is there a problem?"

His smile grows bigger and I'm about to run the fuck away when he places a hand on my shoulder,

"Mr. styles has requested to see you."

+++++++++++++++++++++++

😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

:):):):):):):):):):)

Thoughts?