Little white lies

Chapter 11

Hi lovelies sorry for the late update but there's a lot going on in my life right now... Hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you so much for 565 reads <3 I love you all

xoxo C.

!Trigger warning!

and also kind of !smut warning! it's not really smut but still...

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Harry's pov

When I wake up I feel a warm body pressed against my back, two strong arms holding me close and soft lips pressed against my neck. I smile, loving the feeling of waking up next to Louis, hearing his morning voice, seeing him all sleepy and cuddly.

"Morning gorgeous." I feel my cheeks heating up slightly and bury my face in my pillow. "Morning, boo."

"Feeling a bit better?" I roll over to look at him pecking his lips softly humming happily. "Yeah, my head hurts but I'm okay." We stay in my bed for a while just cuddling and sharing soft kisses. It's only when we're eating breakfast, well more like lunch since its 1 pm, that he brings it up.

"So...are you going to tell me why you had a panic attack and freaked out when Niall touched your thigh?" His voice a little demanding and maybe even a little angry. I shrug not knowing what to say so I come up with the most amazing lie ever..not. "I don't want to talk about it," yeah that will definitely stop him from asking. I roll my eyes at my own stupidness and stand up so I can take a shower.

I hear Louis sigh deeply before I close the bathroom door and strip of my clothes. I trace my fingers over my most recent cuts and then over my biggest scars. My biggest one who's hidden by my butterfly tattoo, And then the big white scars on my thigh.

I bite my lip letting a silent tear roll down my cheek grabbing one of my razors with shaky hands. I slowly make one cut on my thigh for the fact Louis thinks I'm pathetic, one because he is disgusted by me then I make one a bit deeper because I know everyone will leave eventually and a last pretty deep one because I know I can't be fixed not even by Louis...

I watch the blood roll down my thigh knowing I deserve it. I put the razor away hiding it with my other ones before I step into the shower letting the blood wash away cleaning the cuts carefully. I try to calm myself down. Stepping out of the shower dabbing the cuts so the bleeding will stop. When all the blood is gone I wrap a towel around my waist walking into the bedroom with a shaky breath.

My head snaps up when Louis clear his throat. He's sitting on the bed looking me up and down eyes darker than before, biting his lip. I scratch the back of my head feeling really awkward right now. Suddenly I'm pressed against a wall. Louis body pressed against mine and his lips kissing me hungrily. His hands are gripping my waist so hard his fingers will probably leave bruises.

I start to kiss back putting one hand on the back of his neck and use the other to pull him even closer. He starts to kiss down my neck sucking little bruises from my neck to my collarbone. I'm start panting slightly when he starts sucking on my sweet spot.

He turns me around pushing me on the bed, crawling on top of me kissing me deeply while grinding down on me. I try to push him away but can't find the strength to do it.

His hand makes its way down to my towel that is somehow still wrapped around my waist. I finally manage to push him away grabbing his wrist tightly. Louis looks at me confused. "Don't Lou." He kisses my neck softly tracing little kisses down to my chest fingers tracing my torso. "But you're hard Harry what's the problem." His hand makes his way back to my towel trying to pull it off me. "I SAID DON'T!" I push him off of me. Sitting up while holding my towel tightly wrapped around my waist.

Louis is looking at me with wide eyes mouth hanging open slightly. I feel my eyes fill with tears I don't even really know why. He quickly pulls me against his chest whispering "I'm so sorry" over and over again.

I wrap my arms around him burying my face in his neck letting the tears fall. "I'm sorry Lou." He smiles sweetly at me. "Don't apologize, Harry, It's my fault I just got carried away I promise I won't do it ever again." We kiss lazily for a while before Louis gets up to make us dinner while I put on some clothes.

When we finish dinner Louis drives us to a beach to watch the sunset he brought a blanket to sit on and one we can put around us if we get cold. "I'm really sorry for overreacting Lou." He wraps his arm around me pulling me against his side. "It's okay really. I'm an idiot for not listening to you." I giggle "we're both idiots then I guess." He kisses the top of my head. "I don't really care as long as you're my idiot."

We watch the sunset cuddled close under a blanket, my head resting on his shoulder and a genuine smile on my face.

And maybe just maybe he CAN fix me, but maybe I'm wrong...