Little white lies

Chapter 24

Hi babes,

Late and short update sorryyyyyy but I have a puppy! She's quite a lot of work so I don't really have time to write a lot but here's a little chapter anyway.

Only a few chapters left! :o

Enjoy the Chapter :)

xoxo C.

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I do not miss the fights.

The tears on my pillow at 3 AM

nor do I miss the sad look in your eyes when I walk out the door because I just couldn't take it anymore,

But I can't deny

How much I miss the way you made me smile even when I wanted to die

And how you remember 2 sugars, not a lot of milk in every mug of tea,

And how you knew all the words to my favorite songs

In all honesty

I miss you.

I miss him.

I need him

But I can't have him...

I want to tell him how I always think of him before I fall asleep. The words he said, the way he looked. The things we laughed about, the silent moments we shared. And when I dream, I'll dream of him. Because it's about him, it's always him.

I curl in on myself the best I can with the chains around my ankles and wrists. My lips are chapped and the darkness surrounds me.

Louis' pov

"Zayn you have to believe me." He sighs deeply. "Okay fine what do you want me to do."

I stay quiet. I haven't really thought about that actually the only thing I've been doing this week is trying to convince Zayn that Harry is still alive.

"Uhm... I don't know? Find Harry so I can hold him for the rest of my life?" He throws a pillow at me "I'm serious Lou." I look to the ground combing my finger through my hair. "I know... I just want him back."

I feel his hand on my shoulder. "I know.. and we will get him as soon as we find out where he is."

And then it hits me. "We have his journal! maybe he wrote something about where he is in there!?" We both jump up with big smiles on our faces. "We're gonna find him."

x

I'm standing I the kitchen preparing me and zayn some food because apparently I'm too stressed to look for important details...

Bullshit to be fookin honest. I'm perfectly capable of looking for Harry. Yes, I keep imagining Harry being held in a scary place where they beat him up and let him starve. But that only gives me a better reason to look for him.

"Louis look at this!" I rush over to zayn who is sitting on the couch with Harry's journal in front of him. "Did you find anything!?" He shrugs "No, but It's a pretty good poem."

I sigh and let my eyes scan the page. Honestly, I don't feel like reading how lonely and broken he felt, but I start reading anyway.

How can you say you know me,

When you've only seen my skin,

And not the untamed world I hide,

That's growing deep within,

You haven't heard my ribs all creak,

Behind each plaited vine,

Or swum beneath the waterfall,

That cascades down my spine,

You've not been here long enough,

To watch a new life start,

Or find the run-down castle,

Lying just inside my heart,

You haven't climbed the branches,

That are wrapped around each lung,

Swaying with the breezes,

That come dancing past my tongue,

Don't mark me with your footprints,

If you plan to leave too soon,

And only want to know me,

When my plants are all in bloom,

Because the birdsong might be pretty,

But it's not for you they sing,

And if you think my winter is too cold,

You don't deserve my spring.

I'm speechless when I finish reading. I wonder who it was about. Was it about me? I hear Zayn clear his throat. "you okay?" I just nod absently.

"Did you find anything else?" He shakes his head with a sympathetic look on his face, "Just a lot of poems. They're surprisingly good actually." I smile thinking back to the day where I saw Harry writing in his journal when he was sitting on the counter when I was making breakfast.

I asked him what he was writing, he just looked at me and simply told me "You'll find out on our wedding day." And started giggling like the beautiful dork he is.

I hope that maybe one day I'll find out what he wrote that day.

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